Jane Fonda credited as playing...
Vivian
- Sharon: Your husband just died.
- Diane: Harry. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Oh, he was such a good man.
- Vivian: I always thought that was the best thing that ever happened to you.
- Sharon: Harry dying was the best thing that ever happened to her?
- Vivian: Yeah, because now she can have sex with somebody who's not an accountant.
- [Sharon enters the house]
- Sharon: My son is engaged and my husband is in Maui with a tartlet named Cheryl.
- Diane: Oh.
- Sharon: I need a drink.
- Carol: Your 'husband'?
- Diane: You can't possibly still care about what Tom is doing.
- Sharon: I don't care. But the guy gets seasick in a swimming pool. I mean, what the hell is he doing in Maui?
- Vivian: Sounds like he's doing Cheryl in Maui.
- Sharon: Oh, please. Who gets involved in a relationship at 67? I mean, what is the point?
- Vivian: Oh, the point is to get laid. It's always the point.
- Sharon: Don't make me sick.
- Carol: Who still says, 'get laid'?
- Diane: Who still has any interest?
- Vivian: Ah, no, no, no, no, no. I am not gonna let us become those people.
- Diane: What people are you talking about?
- Vivian: You know what people. The people who stop living before they stop living.
- Sharon: I haven't had sex since my divorce, and it's been the happiest 18 years of my life.
- Vivian: What? That must be some kind of... record. I mean, what even happens to a vagina after 18 years?
- Diane: You know, I think Werner Herzog did a documentary on that.
- Carol: Yeah. It's called The Cave of Forgotten Dreams.
- [Vivian, Diane, and Carol laugh]
- Sharon: Okay, will you stop it? Moving on. Let's talk about the book.
- Vivian: Oh, God. The hiking book? Really?
- Carol: Come on. I liked it! It's such a remarkable undertaking. Can you imagine?
- Sharon: No, I cannot. I don't even like walking to my mailbox.
- Carol: It's just an amazing story. I mean, so many layers. I wouldn't even know how to break it down.
- Vivian: Well, I'll break it down for you. She hikes, she lost her boot, she did heroin.
- Diane: Did you only read the back cover?
- Vivian: [gulping her wine] I wish. I kept wanting to shout at her, 'Oh, wait ten years, honey. Dry shampoo is coming.'
- Sharon: You know, if you would ever connect with something on a more emotional level...
- Vivian: Emotional connection is highly overrated.
- Carol: You have not had an emotional connection for 40 years.
- Sharon: Wow, that must be some type of record.
- Diane: Yeah, but what happens to emotions after 40 years?
- Vivian: Okay, okay, are you guys having fun? Really?
- Diane: Oh, come on. You know we love you.
- Carol: Maybe it's time you did take a hike and try to reconnect with your own true self.
- Sharon: I'll buy you a backpack.
- Vivian: I'll tell you how to reconnect with your own true self...
- [gets up]
- Vivian: and it ain't by walking alone in the desert.
- Vivian: [grabs copies of Fifty Shades of Grey from bag] I would like to introduce you to Christian Grey.
- Diane: Oh...
- Sharon: Oh, no.
- Vivian: [passes books to the other ladies] Why? It was a bestseller made into a movie.
- Carol: Oh, and that is our theme this year.
- Diane: Oh, wow.
- Sharon: We are not reading this.
- Vivian: It's my month! When it's your month, you can choose whatever boring, depressing book you want.
- Sharon: I'm not sure this qualifies as a book.
- Vivian: Well, 50 million people can't be wrong.
- Sharon: To... to even be holding this book is embarrassing.
- Vivian: Who's judging you? Your cat?
- Carol: I do like the idea of a romance.
- Sharon: We are too old.
- Carol: But it does say right here 'for mature audiences'.
- Diane: Yeah, that certainly sounds like us.
- Sharon: We started this book club to stimulate our minds.
- Vivian: Well, from what I hear, this book is quite stimulating.
- Diane: Oh, God.
- Vivian: [grabs her wine glass and gets up] So... come on! Let's toast to our new book.
- Carol: All right.
- [the ladies get up to toast]
- Vivian: Drink up. Hoist that glass. Happy reading, ladies.
