"The Ring: Terror's Realm"-  If there were such a thing as a 'so bad, it's good' video game, this would be it!  Incompetent to the point of hilarity!

I never had a Dreamcast growing up. Sure, I was a Sega kid in the early 90's, but as time went on, I became a bit disconnected from their flashy advertising and flagship franchises. And so, around the time of the Saturn, I jumped ship. And to an extent I feel this was a mistake, as their final self-produced platform- the Dreamcast, was a great little gaming console that I've thankfully in retrospect been able to pick up along with a handful of games. And I've enjoyed just about every one of them and now understand the pain that fans felt when Sega got out of the console business and just became a game developer. It was a great piece of hardware with a solid assortment of titles that just didn't catch on as well as it ought have.

Then there's "The Ring: Terror's Realm." ...oh, boy.

I've actually long been an enormous fan of this particular series of titles, owning just about every single film produced and even picking up translated copies of the original Koji Suzuki novels that spawned the media franchise. And for a long time, I was aware of the existence of this Dreamcast title, though articles and reviews I read online about the series. And I also became aware of its infamy and notorious gameplay and storyline thanks to a popular video-game review website that I used to frequent. But, being such a pushover for "Ring" related media, I just had to pick up a copy and give it a shot when I purchased my used Dreamcast about a year back. It couldn't be THAT bad, could it?

Yes. Yes it was that bad. And even more so.

"The Ring: Terror's Realm" may be one of the only games that could qualify for that wonderful label of being "so bad, it's good." It's one of the most gloriously incompetent games I've ever had the pleasure of playing, with virtually every facet of graphics, gameplay, sound and story being nonsensical... at best. I was surprised. Usually when a game is terrible, it's just unplayable and infuriating. But when I popped in "The Ring: Terror's Realm", I quickly found myself giggling and chuckling at the opening movie sequence. And then laughing the second I took over the controls. And then laughing at a consistent pace once the actual story began to play out. I couldn't put it down! It was just gold.

We follow Meg- one of the worst protagonists ever crafted, as she evidently takes her recently-deceased boyfriend Robert's job at the Center for Disease Control. Haunted by his death (after all, the game seems to imply it was only a day or two ago...), she goes through his belongings, and discovers a mysterious computer program on his laptop called "Ring." Upon opening the program, she is mysteriously transported into an alternate reality where she must battle monsters along with other soldiers and navigate a dark, twisted version of her workplace. She will be forced to repeatedly hop back and forth between these two worlds in order to solve the mystery of what is occurring... But what does it all mean? How was Robert killed? Who is behind all of this?

Who cares?

To start, the story and characters are just a mess. Nothing organically flows in the narrative, and you'll be left scratching your head near-constantly in the first half. The twists and revelations later on in the game all seem to come out of left field, yet are still somehow predictable, which really tells you how dreadful the storytelling really is. You fully expect the game to just go in the worst possible direction, and it does. Meg makes for a laugh-out-loud protagonist, with social capabilities roughly on par with a depressed chihuahua and a personality as deep as a sheet of loose- leaf. Supporting roles are populated by characters whose sole defining traits are based around their clothing and hair- color... including a Tina Turner look-alike and a character who looks like he was carved out of a piece of wood.

Graphics are at best passable, but fall prey to ridiculous design work. Everything is just so flat and boring in the real world to the point that those gameplay sequences just feel like you're actually wasting your time at your real-life job, while the alternative reality "Ring" world is moody, dark and depressive to the point of being nearly impossible to see. You'll constantly find yourself running into walls or missing doorways because everything is so indistinguishable.

The sound work might just be the worst I've ever heard. You know the phrase "phoning it in"? Well, it literally sounds like the voice- over actors are all speaking through a 40-year-old telephone that was dug out of someone's basement. Quality is poor, with voices sounding crackly and distant. And it doesn't help that none of them put in even a modicum of effort. Microsoft Sam has a bigger emotional range than anyone here. This is not even Middle School play quality acting... the Middle School theater nerds would make fun of these guys! You'll literally crack up every time someone speaks. And the music? Gah. There's three... maybe four songs in the entire game, that are played on endless loops to the point you'll be hearing them in your dreams. 

Finally the controls! They're... actually OK. They're the one thing about this game I can't rant on. They work.

The fact of the matter is, this is a terrible, terrible game. But I found it so delightfully bad that I actually had a decent time playing it. It's almost paradoxical in a way. I would actually recommend giving it a shot if you can pick up a used copy for cheap. You're guaranteed to at least get a few good belly-laughs out of it, even if you give up after a half-hour.

3 out of 10.

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Survival horror game loosely based on the Japanese Ringu horror novel and movie series. In the near apocalyptic future, Meg investigates the mysterious death of her boyfriend, who worked for the Center for Disease Control.

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The Ring: Terror's Realm

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