A Brazzers and Digital Playground house director who ambitiously calls himself "Brando" smells up the place again with "Deadly Rain", a misjudged vehicle for superstar Romi Rain. I usually chime in with "she needs a new agent", but in Adult Entertainment's current miserable state that translates to "she needs a new gonzo handler".

This "original series" (that means head to the website, don't be an old fogey like me watching it on DVD) is styled as a porn action thriller, with Rain dolled up as a hitlady in fetish leather gear like a 21st Century Mrs. Peel/Diana Rigg from "The Avengers", not the crappy Marvel franchise but the original British TV series of 50 years ago.

Her cause isn't helped by another of Brazzers' DVD screw-ups. Last year they messed up the Johnny Sins/Kissa Sins stinker "Sins of Life", by sequencing the segments in the wrong order on the DVD. For "Deadly Rain" the sequencing and editing of the action is completely garbled -so much so that I didn't even try to straighten it out and rearrange things for proper viewing -this DVD's due for the waste basket. Glaring errors became evident after a character was killed, and then came the coming attractions for the next episode and he was fine - wrong order.

Of course, the honchos at Brazzers/DP assume no one cares about the story lines or suspense - they merely shoot that stuff for old times' sake. Allie Haze is along for the ride as something of a hit lady herself, though the relationships and point of this exercise eluded me due to the editing. IR action is provided by a Black actor named Stallion, while boring porn regulars for the DP and Brazzers, Jessy Jones, Mick Blue and Toni Ribas round out the lame cast. 

Not exactly saving the day are two bonus short subjects adding 50 minutes to the running time, starring Brandy Aniston in a dumb f*ckfest with her neighbor Bill Bailey, plus the unappealing Sydney Cole getting humped by Brazzers star Keiran Lee.

The action genre features fast-paced, thrilling, and intense sequences of physical feats, combat, and excitement. The characters of these stories are involved in daring and often dangerous situations, requiring them to rely on their physical prowess, skills, and quick thinking to overcome challenges and adversaries.

The crime genre features criminal activities, investigations, law enforcement, crimes, and the pursuit of justice. Crime stories often revolve around the planning, execution, and consequences of criminal acts, as well as the efforts to solve and prevent such acts. They explore various aspects of criminal behavior, motives, and the moral dilemmas faced by both perpetrators and those seeking to uphold the law.

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The drama genre is a broad category that features stories portraying human experiences, emotions, conflicts, and relationships in a realistic and emotionally impactful way. Dramas delve into the complexities of human life, often exploring themes of love, loss, morality, societal issues, personal growth, with the aim to evoke an emotional response from the audience by presenting relatable and thought-provoking stories.

Mahershala Ali and Alex R. Hibbert in Moonlight (2016)

Romi Rain is the coldest cum-hungriest assassin in the San Fernando Valley. Horny but deadly, this hot hit woman uses every tool she's got to get the job done. But when her boss wants her gone, Romi has to fight, flee and fuck on a whole new level.

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Deadly Rain

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