Christopher Walken credited as playing...
Felix Perkins
- Tom Brand: How'd I get into this?
- Felix Perkins: You haven't been there for your family. You're gonna be stuck inside this cat until you makes things right.
- Tom Brand: But I hate cats!
- Felix Perkins: That's what makes this so perfect.
- Felix Perkins: You look familiar.
- Tom Brand: [annoyed] I'm Tom Brand, I own FireBrand...?
- Felix Perkins: Yesss. I use newspaper in the poopy boxes and I see your face all the time.
- Felix Perkins: Okay, cats.
- Tom Brand: I'm sorry?
- Felix Perkins: Let's do this.
- [Turns Brand into a cat]
- Tom Brand: I am not eating cat food.
- Felix Perkins: You'll eat cat food or else.
- Tom Brand: Oh, I'm ten pounds and covered in fur. What else could you possibly do to me?
- Felix Perkins: This cat has not been fixed.
- Tom Brand: [Whispers] Don't you dare!
- Lara Brand: Oh, should I take him to the vet?
- Tom Brand: Perkins...
- Felix Perkins: Let's wait...
- Tom Brand: ...if you so much as lay a finger on my...
- Felix Perkins: ...He's made progress. He's gonna be better now.
- Tom Brand: [Continues ranting, unintelligible]
- Felix Perkins: If he isn't eating his cat food or using his poopy box, give me a call. I'll clip him myself. You hear that Mr. Fuzzypants?
- Ian Cox: No I can handle the SEC. Just get me on the phone with Goldman.
- Felix Perkins: Sir. You might want to hang up.
- Ian Cox: Excuse me?
- Felix Perkins: You're not going to like where this call is going.
- Ian Cox: Thank you. Sorry some nutcase. Listen we can still take him to court.
- [a taxi cab hits Ian]
- Felix Perkins: Ian. Ian? Gotta be honest. I don't know how you're gonna get out of this.
- Ian Cox: [shown in a cat's body] I hate cats.
- Felix Perkins: That's what makes this so perfect.
- Felix Perkins: I wouldn't take that call Ian hang up
- [Ian carries on conversing into a cell phone and is promptly run over]
- Felix Perkins: [last lines]
- Ian Cox: [Now stuck in a cat as his comatose body is wheeled away] But I HATE Cats!
- Felix Perkins: [Smugly repeating what he told Tom] That's why it makes this so perfect
