Olivia Munn credited as playing...
Sloan Sabbith
- Don Keefer: Yes.
- Sloan Sabbith: Yes, what?
- Don Keefer: Yes, I'd love having a gal pal with no commitment and tons of sex.
- Sloan Sabbith: Great.
- Don Keefer: Just not you.
- Sloan Sabbith: What's wrong with me?
- Don Keefer: Plenty, but I really like you anyway.
- Sloan Sabbith: I'm not good at not being alone. It's what I'm used to.
- Don Keefer: Let me know if you want to get good at it.
- [He walks down the hall]
- Sloan Sabbith: [to his back] The sex is good.
- Don Keefer: Thank you.
- Sloan Sabbith: You gave me a little test.
- Don Keefer: You didn't do well.
- Sloan Sabbith: Is this something you read in Cosmo while you were at the dentist?
- Don Keefer: Yes.
- Sloan Sabbith: I said I'd go to the party which doesn't exist because you're a lying liar who lies a lot.
- Don Keefer: Go ahead!
- Sloan Sabbith: Here's what we are.
- Don Keefer: Bring it!
- Sloan Sabbith: I love spending time with you.
- Don Keefer: Oh! Oh Man!
- Sloan Sabbith: Wait!
- Don Keefer: I can't believe I'm getting Don Keefered!
- Sloan Sabbith: You're not! I would never Don Keefer you.
- Sloan Sabbith: Don't you like having a gal pal that you can hang out with where there are extra benefits like stock tips?
- Don Keefer: I can't use the stock tips!
- Sloan Sabbith: [Much louder] Then how about the sex?
- Don Keefer: [Both turn suddenly to see Jim Harper standing in the elevator looking at them. Sloan and Don enter the elevator] Hey.
- Jim Harper: Hey
- Sloan Sabbith: Hey
- Jim Harper: Hi
- Don Keefer: [after an uncomfortable pause] It would take a long time to explain
- Jim Harper: [Cutting Don off] Yeah, yeah
- Don Keefer: [Interrupting Sloane's monologue] We are a couple?
- Sloan Sabbith: [Nervously, buying time] Hmmm?
- Don Keefer: [Looking intently at Sloane] You consider us a couple?
- Sloan Sabbith: I don't understand that question.
- Don Keefer: Yea, you do, 'cause this is exactly how I act in the same situation. Suddently I pretend I am stupid and hearing impaired. Do you consider us a couple?
- Sloan Sabbith: Do *you* consider us a couple?
- Don Keefer: I do that, too, Socrates.
- Sloan Sabbith: We are...
- Don Keefer: Yep.
- Sloan Sabbith: Okay, let me say...
- Don Keefer: Go ahead.
- Sloan Sabbith: Ok, here's what we are.
- Don Keefer: Bring it.
- Sloan Sabbith: I love spending time with you.
- Don Keefer: Oh! Oh, man.
- Sloan Sabbith: Wait.
- Don Keefer: I can't believe I am getting Don Keefer'd!
- Sloan Sabbith: You are not! I would never Don Keefer you. We're a couple. Totally. Of course we are a couple. Let me remind you, I was the one who had a problem with you trading Chipotle. Why? Because, we are... a couple! You are the one buying Chipotle hither and yon, as if, "Duh, look, I don't produce a financial show." See what I mean?
- Don Keefer: [Looking at Sloane *very* suspiciously] Ok.
- Sloan Sabbith: Gotta slide me a waffle, man.
- [Don picks up a waffle from a stack and throws it on Sloane's plate. Sloane gives him a no-you-didn't look]
- Sloan Sabbith: I'll address that aggressive behavior in just a moment.
