Alec Knight credited as playing...
Varys
- Cersei Lannister: Varys, I need to get fucked.
- Varys: [exposing his penis] Well, why didn't you say so?
- Cersei Lannister: [taken aback by his size] I thought you were a eunuch.
- Varys: Well, if I didn't keep this a secret, I wouldn't get any work done.
- Varys: My queen. To what do I owe the honor of this visit?
- Cersei Lannister: My husband is thankfully dead, my brother captured by some sort of mute half-man/half-woman beast. And my son... my son needs to be kicked in the balls at least a dozen times.
- Varys: Well, surely it can't be as bad as all that.
- Cersei Lannister: Now the people are uprising because Stark is dead and Arya, that asexual cunt, is missing. And, of course, there's that dragon bitch in Tarth. Dragons? Really?
- Varys: Well, dragons are the "in" thing these days.
- Cersei Lannister: And I can't remember half of the characters because all of their names sound the same.
- Varys: Not mine.
- Cersei Lannister: And we keep hearing "winter is coming." Can these people say anything else, ever?
- Cersei Lannister: And my midget brother just married Sansa Stark. Sansa? Even I can't stand her, and now she's part of the family? Can you imagine all those Christmas dinners? What were we thinking?
- Varys: What the fuck is Christmas?
