Jane Leeves: Joy Scroggs

Undercover Lovers

Joy Scroggs

[first lines]
Joy Scroggs: [Bob and Joy kiss passionately] Did they see us?
Bob: Yes, lover.
Joy Scroggs: They can't hear us; you don't need to call me lover.
Bob: It's called undercover work, Joy. We're chasing identity thieves here, crafty and suspicious; if we want to get close to them we have to convince them we're just an ordinary couple.
Joy Scroggs: Got it.
Bob: But we mustn't get too attached, you and I. That will only lead to heartbreak. Your heartbreak.

Bob: I'll meet you at the motel. But just so you know, John Johnson sleeps in the nude.
Joy Scroggs: And just so *you* know, Natasha Johnson sleeps with scissors.
Bob: Pajamas it is, then.

Joy Scroggs: Are you saying you're running for city council? You don't know anything about politics.
Victoria Chase: Well, what does Sonny Bono know? Clint Eastwood? The Schwarzenegger couldn't even pronounce the name of the state he was in.

Bob: Oh God, joy!
Joy Scroggs: What?
Bob: No, not you; my Canadian girlfriend Joy.
Joy Scroggs: You really have a Canadian girlfriend?
Bob: Yes!
[speeddials cellphone]
Bob: Hi. Joy, this is Bob. I-I've made a terrible mistake. Look. I'm jumping on the next flight and then the connecting flight and then the puddle-jumper and then the snowmobile and... then I'll be at your door. Yes. I'll, I'll see you in two weeks.

Joy Scroggs: Thanks, Melanie. You're good at this. Bye.
Melanie Moretti: You know, I *am* good at this. I mean, when I'm just being myself. See, I was told I needed to be more folksy, more Honey Boo-Boo. But people like those shows because they're being themselves. So for the rest of Askageddon, I'm just going to be me, and I hope you like it.
[the board guy taps on the window and points to his watch]
Melanie Moretti: And that concludes Askageddon. I'll see you tomorrow, folks... I hope.

[last lines]
Victoria Chase: Look at this turnout. You know, Elka's only a few signatures away from getting on the ballot. And her dog park twitter account is trending.
Elka Ostrovsky: [laughing] At Elka stop less parks.
Melanie Moretti: [looks at @elkastoplessparks banner] You know, when you look at that, it looks like Elka's topless parks.
Elka Ostrovsky: [innocently] Does it?
Bob: Well, Joy, I've got a plane to catch.
Joy Scroggs: Bob's selling the agency and moving back to Canada.
Bob: I made the new owner promise to keep Joy on. He seems like a good guy.
Joy Scroggs: Good guy, huh?
Bob: Yup. I guess when you look like him, you kind of have to be.
[shows joy a picture of a handsome man]
Joy Scroggs: I can work with that.
Bob: That's the spirit, Joy. Looks aren't everything.