Valerie Bertinelli credited as playing...
Melanie Moretti
- [first lines]
- Elka Ostrovsky: Look at our baby; he's so depressed.
- Melanie Moretti: Maybe we should just take him back to the vet.
- Joy Scroggs: No, the vet said he was fine physically.
- Elka Ostrovsky: Well, maybe he's just sad because Joy looks like a bone he can't chew on.
- Victoria Chase: Or maybe because for every one of our years he ages seven. That would depress the hell out of me.
- Melanie Moretti: I thought you guys were supposed to be getting along.
- Joy Scroggs: We tried all morning not to snipe at each other, and knowing we can't snipe at each other only made us snipe at each other more.
- Melanie Moretti: Well, you can't run away from the problem.
- Joy Scroggs: The problem is 92 years old; I think I can.
- Melanie Moretti: [to radio caller] Why don't you just cut the guy some slack? And if you have to criticize him, do it *after* sex. That way he associates criticism with pleasure.
