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Alanna Ubach and Sydney Sweeney in The Ballad of Paladin (2026)

Quotes

The Ballad of Paladin

Euphoria

  • Laurie: Remember, the grass is always greener by the septic tank.
  • Ellis: My wife knows I have certain proclivities. Behaviors.
  • Jules Vaughn: Behaviors?
  • Ellis: Weaknesses.
  • Jules Vaughn: And she's okay with it?
  • Ellis: You marry the best parts of a person; hopefully you can tolerate the worst.
  • Lexi Howard: Hey, is everything okay?
  • Cassie Howard: Of course, it's my wedding day.
  • Lexi Howard: Okay, I was just asking.
  • Cassie Howard: What a weird question to ask on the best day of my life.
  • Naz: Don't cry. You'll mess up your makeup.
  • Cassie Howard: [sobbing] It's already messed up!
  • Jules Vaughn: Are you a virgin?
  • Lexi Howard: It's better than herpes!
  • Nate Jacobs: You're gay. You're in denial, and it came out in very weird ways.
  • Cal Jacobs: I'm not gay, I was a hedonist.
  • Nate Jacobs: You fucked men in the ass!
  • Cal Jacobs: So?
  • Nate Jacobs: How is that not gay?
  • Cal Jacobs: I was a pitcher, not a catcher.
  • Suze: It's all making sense.
  • Cassie Howard: What?
  • Suze: You and your little porno site.
  • Cassie Howard: I deleted that.
  • Suze: Did Nate put you up to it?
  • Cassie Howard: What? No.
  • Suze: [re scanty-dress Maddie turning up at Cassie's wedding] I can't believe she has the nerve to show her face.
  • Cal Jacobs: I saw a little bit more than her face.
  • Suze: [mouths softly] Stop.
  • Nate Jacobs: Fuck that flower!

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