Chevy Chase credited as playing...
Pierce Hawthorne
- Pierce Hawthorne: 13 years of college down the drain.
- Troy Barnes: I was gonna be the first one in my family to graduate from community college. Everyone else graduated from normal college.
- Britta Perry: [Britta pretends to be Star-Burns and encourages the group to ask her questions, as a way to deal with their grief] Guys, you are doing this wrong. Ask me something personal.
- Abed Nadir: Star-Burns, I didn't know you that well, but why did you smell exactly like salami?
- Britta Perry: Abed!
- Pierce Hawthorne: I got one. Where's my comb?
- Britta Perry: [as Star-Burns] I don't know.
- Pierce Hawthorne: Yep, it's him.
- Annie Edison: Why did you tape that switchblade to your ankle?
- Troy Barnes: Why did you always poop with the stall door open?
- Abed Nadir: Is it true you made out with Britta?
- Britta Perry: [annoyed as self] I don't see how that's relevant.
- Pierce Hawthorne: It was Fat Neil's black light party. Vicki saw you.
- Britta Perry: If that's true...
- [as Star-Burns]
- Britta Perry: if... maybe it was because she was really drunk and she had just found out that her first boyfriend was getting married.
- [as self]
- Britta Perry: If you guys are gonna do this wrong, then I'm gonna take these off.
- [attempts to remove fake star-burns affixed to her face]
- Britta Perry: Ow!
- Jeff Winger: [amused] Okay, grief counseling is growing on me.
- [takes picture of Britta wearing fake star-burns]
- Annie Edison: [study group sits in silence] You guys, how long are we going to avoid talking about this really serious thing that's happened?
- Pierce Hawthorne: Is it always about the Holocaust with you people?
- Pierce Hawthorne: [reaches into urn, sifting through the ashes] I know my comb's in here, you son of a bitch!
