Topher Grace credited as playing...
Scott
- Samson: There's a reason Romeo killed himself, okay? Suicide was the best option for this guy.
- Mallory: Why?
- Scott: What?
- Lyle: No, no. Romeo set the standard for love.
- Samson: No, Shakespeare didn't know anything about love. The guy was a sexual deviant, okay? He couldn't keep his hands off himself. That's why his name was Shakespeare
- Narrator: It's true. Hardy, Dickens, Longfellow, all sex starved pen names.
- Samson: E. Cummings
- Scott: Updike
- Mallory: Margaret *Atewood*
- Samson: Dean *Cunts*
- Lyle: [Correcting their pronunciation] Atwood and Koontz.
- Scott: Balzac.
