- Tina Fey: Maybe what bothers me the most is that people say that Hillary is a bitch. And let me say something about that: Yeah, she is. Yeah. And so am I and so is this one.
- [Points to Amy Poehler]
- Amy Poehler: Yeah, deal with it.
- Tina Fey: You know what? Bitches get stuff done. That's why Catholic schools use nuns as teachers and not priests. Those nuns are mean old clams and they sleep on cots and they're allowed to hit you. And at the end of the school year, you hated those bitches, but you knew the capital of Vermont.
- Amy Poehler: Yes.
- Tina Fey: So, I'm saying it's not too late, Texas and Ohio! Get on board. Bitch is the new black!
- [Alec Baldwin as The Cowboy enters the diner]
- Brenda: Man! His type just makes me crazy! Shoot! Look at him - sitting on that stool like he's doing it a favor!
