Robin Williams credited as playing...
Dennis the Dog
- [Dennis barks]
- Neil Clarke: What are you talking about, Dennis?... Dennis, shut up, I can handle this!... Dennis, what are you talking about? Actually, that is a really good point, what are you talking about? Dennis, be able to speak!
- Dennis: Biscuits!
- Neil Clarke: What?
- Dennis: Biscuits! For crying out loud, they're in the cupboard!
- Neil Clarke: [feeds Dennis] God, it must be terrible being a dog! I never knew you had so many cravings!
- Dennis: It's no worse than you and that bitch!
- Neil Clarke: What bitch?
- Dennis: The bitch you were shagging last night!
- Neil Clarke: Oh my god, she's not a bitch, she's a lovely human female! And we weren't shagging!
- Dennis: Yes, you were!
- Neil Clarke: No we weren't, we were talking!
- Dennis: Talking about shagging!
- Neil Clarke: No!
- Dennis: What else is there to talk about?
- Neil Clarke: I don't think I like your conversation!
- Dennis: But I worship you, master! I love you so much! I can't bear displeasing you! My whole world collapses when you're cross with me!
- Neil Clarke: I'm not going to give you a biscuit until you answer my question!
- Dennis: Biscuits! Bread biscuits, black biscuits!
- Neil Clarke: Is that all you think about?
- Dennis: Nothing else matters! Biscuits, please!
- Neil Clarke: Dennis, become a rational thinking creature!
- Dennis: Look, I just can't concentrate on anything till I've had one of those biscuits! I know it's crazy, but that's how it is. I guess I'm kinda hooked on them. So please, give me just one biscuit, and I'll be able to think about something else!
- Neil Clarke: That makes sense.
- [goes to the cupboard]
- Dennis: Oh, he's getting the biscuits! He's getting the biscuits!
- [on hearing the bell, Dennis gets excited]
- Neil Clarke: Dennis, listen! Listen, listen, listen! Be quiet! That is an order!
- Dennis: Right! Right! I like obeying orders, especially your orders!
- Neil Clarke: Good. Then shut the fuck up!... Good boy.
- Dennis: Okay... okay... shut the fuck up...
- Dennis: I wouldn't mind shagging your leg right now...
- Neil Clarke: I thought I turned you into a rational thinking creature!
- Dennis: Rational thinking creature still have desires!
- Neil Clarke: We'll soon deal with that...
- Dennis: NO! Don't take my desires away from me!
- Neil Clarke: Why not?
- Dennis: They wouldn't make my life worth living! Biscuits, shagging!
