Quotes

Happy Career Day to You

Karen Pelly: I guess the hardest part about being a police officer is having to work within a tight municipal budget.
Classmate #1: Are you for real?

Oscar Leroy: [about Brent & Hank] They think I'm going to get all sick and crazy, so I'm playing it up.
Emma Leroy: The sick part.

Oscar Leroy: [pretending to hallucinate] Brent, Brent. Don't leave me alone with the leprechaun. I think he and the monkey are planning something.

Oscar Leroy: [Brent enters the room carrying a vacuum cleaner] What's that for?
Brent Leroy: To pump your stomach.
[Oscar moans]
Brent Leroy: Let's just say it's the worst case scenario.
Hank Yarbo: Power drill's ready to go.
Brent Leroy: Okay, second worst case scenario.

[Emma walks into a classroom, she hands a folder to the teacher]
Mrs. Johnson: Thanks, Emma. It's great to have you volunteering at the school.
Emma Leroy: Oh, well, it gets me out of the house.
Mrs. Johnson: Listen, could you watch the kids? I just have to step out for a sec.
Emma Leroy: Sure!
[Mrs. Johnson picks up a suitcase from under the desk and walks out]

[Karen and Wanda getting competitive over whose career the kids find more interesting]
Karen Pelly: Who wants to get a chalk outline drawn around them?
Wanda Dollard: Who wants to see the most important part of my job?... Fireworks!
Karen Pelly: Who wants to watch me shoot a stop sign?

Automated Telephone System: Hello, and thank you for calling Tasty Treat Bakeries. Press 1 if you're looking for employment. Press 2 if you wish to submit a delicious recipe. Press 3 if you've found an old Dingle Puff... Please wait for our next available Dingle Puff representative. Your snack-related questions are important to us.
[hold music plays]
Oscar Leroy: [entering] I've been waiting in the car five minutes waiting to be gassed up!
Brent Leroy: Shh, we're in the middle of an important phone call.
Dingle Puffs Representative: [phone] Tasty Treats Bakeries.
Brent Leroy: [phone] Yes, hello. We found a 30 year old Dingle Puff, perfectly preserved in its original packaging, and we thought maybe you'd want to put it in a food museum or something.
Dingle Puffs Representative: [phone] Uh... nope.
Brent Leroy: [phone] Well, what should we do with it?
Dingle Puffs Representative: [phone] Throw it out. It's 30 years old.
Hank Yarbo: Ask him if we can eat it.
Dingle Puffs Representative: [phone] Whatever you do, don't eat it. Or anything else that's 30 years old.
Hank Yarbo: [phone] Well, what if we wash it down with a...
Dingle Puffs Representative: [phone] Don't eat it. Any more questions, that aren't about eating?
Brent Leroy: [phone] ... Who played Mrs. Howell on Gilligan's Island?

[Oscar tells Brent and Hank that he ate the old Dingle Puff]
Brent Leroy: Are you sure you're okay?
Oscar Leroy: Never better. Oh, I better get home before the gas station starts spinning again...
Hank Yarbo: Here, let me help you into the car.
Oscar Leroy: [getting into the back seat] Thank you, ma'am. Drive me home please, Buckwald.
Hank Yarbo: Okay, this is freaking me out a bit. Does your Dad even have a driver?

[Wanda is jealous that the kids think Karen's career is more interesting than hers after seeing what her job is like]
Karen Pelly: [phone] DRPD. Yeah, uh-huh. Cows? How many cows? Fine, I'll be right there.
[hangs up]
Karen Pelly: Sorry kids, I have to go do my job... I mean, career.
[the kids groan]
Wanda Dollard: [holding a rubber ball] Aw, does Officer Karen have to go? Aw, probably has to bore some criminal to death. Oh well, come inside and we'll... have a ball!
Classmate #1: We wanna go with Karen.
Wanda Dollard: Sorry, can't do that. You could get hurt.
Classmate 2: But she's really...
Wanda Dollard: [yelling] Get inside!
[the kids hurry into the gas station]
Wanda Dollard: Sorry, sorry about that kids... Don't tell your parents I yelled. Hey, who can keep a secret!

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