James Buckley credited as playing...
Jay Cartwright
- Jay Cartwright: [Neil is in the toilet] What's taking so fucking long?
- Neil Sutherland: Oh, Mate. It's not good. Get us some bog roll... Look!
- [displays penis to Jay]
- Jay Cartwright: Ah, Jesus! Put it away, Neil!
- Neil Sutherland: I can't. It stings when it rubs on my pants!
- Jay Cartwright: Well... Take your pants off then!
- Neil Sutherland: I can't. Then it'll rub on my jeans.
- Jay Cartwright: Neil, No matter what your old man says, You can't Walk around London with your knob hanging out.
- Jay Cartwright: I fucked some girl up there last week.
- Will McKenzie: Where in London?
- Jay Cartwright: The Tower Of London.
- Will McKenzie: What did you do after you fucked her? Cut her head off?
- Jay Cartwright: She's already seen the crown jewels: my bellend.
- Jay: Bus wankers!
- Simon: What did I just say? Oh Christ, Jay.
- Will: Oh no. They're coming.
- Jay: Shit! Drive!
- Simon: Where? Where am I meant to drive to?
- Will: Anywhere!
- Jay: Oh shit.
- Simon: [turns car onto pavement]
- Will: Anywhere - but - the pavement.
- Bus Stop Guy: [Grabs Simon's throat]
- Simon: Listen... I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm really. Please.
- Bus Stop Guy: Who's a wanker?
- Simon: [still throttled] I'm really sorry.
- Bus Stop Guy: I'm a wanker am I?
- Simon: I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Bus Stop Guy: I'm a wanker, ye?
- Simon: I'm sorry.
- Will: He said he's sorry. He's really sorry.
- Bus Stop Guy: [laughing and still throttling Simon while Simon shuts the car window] I'd rather be a bus wanker than drive that lump of yellow shit!
- Simon: You got me throttled!
