Bradley Cooper credited as playing...
Pat
- Pat: The only way you can beat my crazy was by doing something crazy yourself. Thank you. I love you. I knew it the minute I met you. I'm sorry it took so long for me to catch up. I just got stuck.
- Pat: The world will break your heart ten ways to Sunday. That's guaranteed. I can't begin to explain that. Or the craziness inside myself and everyone else. But guess what? Sunday's my favorite day again. I think of what everyone did for me, and I feel like a very lucky guy.
- Pat: This is what I learned at the hospital. You have to do everything you can, you have to work your hardest, and if you do, if you stay positive, you have a shot at a silver lining.
- Pat: Hey, my friend Ronnie is having this party on Sunday night and it's like a real hoity-toity thing. And his wife Veronica is a real stickler for... I don't know. My mom got this Gap outfit she wants me to wear, but I want to wear a jersey that my brother Jake got me from the Eagles
- Dr. Cliff Patel: Which jersey?
- Pat: DeSean Jackson.
- Dr. Cliff Patel: DeSean Jackson is the man.
- Pat: Well, that settles that.
- Officer Keogh: Hey, aren't you Tommy's widow?
- Tiffany: Yes, I'm Tommy's crazy whore widow. Minus the whore thing, for the most part.
- Officer Keogh: You want to get a drink sometime?
- [Tiffany turns around and walks away in disgust]
- Pat: You shouldn't say that to her. She doesn't do that anymore.
- Officer Keogh: What? What did I say?
- Pat: She doesn't do that anymore.
- Pat: You look nice.
- Tiffany: Thank you.
- Pat: Oh, I'm not flirting with you.
- Tiffany: Oh, I didn't think you were.
- Pat: I just see that you made an effort, and I'm gonna be better with my wife. I'm working on that. I wanna acknowledge her beauty. I never used to do that. I do now. Just practicing. How'd Tommy die?
- [Tiffany looks shocked and sad]
- Tiffany: You know what, forget I offered to help you. Forget the entire fucking idea, because that must have been fucking crazy, because I'm so much CRAZIER than you!
- Pat: [Indifferent] Keep your voice down.
- Tiffany: I'm just the crazy slut with a dead husband!
- Tiffany: [Tiffany laughs insanely]
- Pat: [Still mostly indifferent] Shut the fuck up.
- Tiffany: [Yelling] Fuck you!
- Tiffany: [Tiffany sweeps everything off the table onto the floor]
- Tiffany: [Walking away] You shut the fuck up!
- Jordie: Hi, guys. How's it going? Hey. Is Tiffany home?
- Tiffany's Mother: Go away.
- Jordie: I know her. I know her, we've dated. We still date.
- Pat: What are you doing here?
- Jordie: I've called her, I've texted her.
- Pat: [to Tiffany's parents] Do you know this guy?
- Jordie: I still haven't heard back. We used to work together...
- Tiffany's Father: Just get the hell out of here...
- Jordie: I just wanted to give you my card to give to her.
- Tiffany's Father: Another rude creep.
- Pat: Listen to what he's saying. Listen to what he's saying.
- Jordie: What's he saying?
- Pat: He's saying you're being rude.
- Jordie: How am I being rude?
- Pat: Oh, you know. You know. Come on. Sometimes it's okay with girls like this, they wanna have fun and it's not because they got a broken wing, and they're hurt, and they're an easy target. And in this case, in this particular case, I think that wing is being fixed. And you gotta make sure it gets mended. And you're gettin' in the way of that right now, okay? Because she's sensitive and she's smart, she's artistic. This is a great girl and you gotta be respectful of that. Come on. Let me walk you down to your car. You're a better guy than this. I can see it in your eyes.
- Jordie: She just texted me!
- Tiffany: Hey!
- Pat: What the fuck? I'm married!
- Tiffany: So am I!
- Pat: What the fuck are you doing? Your husband's dead!
- Tiffany: Where's your wife?
- Pat: You're crazy!
- Tiffany: I'm not the one who just got out of that hospital in Baltimore.
- Pat: I'm not the big slut!... I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry.
- Tiffany: I was a big slut, but I'm not any more. There's always going to be a part of me that's sloppy and dirty, but I like that. With all the other parts of myself. Can you say the same about yourself fucker? Can you forgive? Are you any good at that?
- Pat: It's electric between us! Okay, yeah, we wanna change each other, but that's normal, couples wanna do that. I want her to stop dressing like she dresses, I want her to stop acting so superior to me, okay? And she wanted me to lose weight and stop my mood swings, which both I've done. I mean, people fight. Couples fight. We would fight, we wouldn't talk for a couple weeks. That's normal. She always wanted the best for me.
- Tiffany: Wow.
- Pat: She wanted me to be passionate and compassionate. And that's a good thing. You know? I just, look, I'm my best self today, and I think she's her best self today, and our love's gonna be fucking amazing.
- Tiffany: It's gonna be amazing, and you're gonna be amazing, and she's gonna be amazing, and you're not gonna be that guy that's gonna take advantage of a situation without offering to do something back. So think about the dance thing.
- [Tiffany turns and walks off]
- Tiffany: Listen, I haven't dated since before my marriage so I don't really remember how this works.
- Pat: How what works?
- Tiffany: I saw the way you were looking at me, Pat. You felt it, I felt it, don't lie. We're not liars like they are. I live in the addition around back, which is completely separate from my parents' house, so there's no chance of them walking in on us. I hate the fact that you wore a football jersey to dinner because I hate football, but you can fuck me if you turn the lights off, okay?
