Clearly trying to draft off glossy continental/globe-trotting white coaters like SEXUAL FREEDOM IN DENMARK and PORNOGRAPHY: COPHENHAGEN 1970, Kemal Horulu's bait-'n'-switch ALL ABOUT SEX OF ALL NATIONS more closely resembles Sidney Knight's slap-dash Distribpix effort SEXUAL CUSTOMS IN SCANDINAVIA, if only for achieving the impressively lazy feat of never leaving its own backyard.

Opening with an oral-only resume of the cast (dare I risk a comparison to Godard's CONTEMPT?), the film jumps into matters quickly via a scientific talking head, who stoically guides us through sex-ed basics like foreplay and masturbation before launching into a litany of positions what seem cribbed from Matt Cimber's exhaustive sexual run-through MAN & WIFE (long sections of narration about different orientations working better for smaller and bigger penises and offering more or less potential for insertion seem like they could be cribbed verbatim). Even at only 72 minutes, the film collapses under this exhaustive resume, and while it recovers a bit in the final third with a section on oddities like transvestism and other "sex perversions," it will surely be too little to rouse most modern viewers from their torpor. This is a sex film that will make you want to hop in the sack for all the wrong reasons!

As chintzy as the film is, Horulu largely seems to be trying to play it straight, with earnest and academic-sounding narration by the movie's "expert" (who nevertheless can't pronounce basic terms like "fellatio"). One bright spot is a sort of "rep company" cast dotted with a number of early New York porn faces: I spotted Tina Russell (and her steady Jason), a pre-mustache Harry Reems, and Dolly Sharp, waiting to join Harry and make history in DEEP THROAT just a few months later. The way Horulu uses this cast is fun, intercutting numerous couples demonstrating each segment rather than simply allocating through one per. The result is like one of those '70s sketch comedy primetime shows, albeit with sex swapped in for laughs: it's fun watching the same people pop up in different locations, in one scene as a shy wife, another as a lusty hippy, a third as a pimp or hooker, etc. The result is a film that, while still feeling dashed-off, at least reads as congenially so: the title may invoke a global survey of lovemaking, but the best the film can manage in this regard is quick asides like "this form of coitus is preferred in France," or, "this is the most popular position in Scandinavian countries." So much for sex of all nations - they barely tag all five boroughs!

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All About Sex of All Nations

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