- Richard 'Fagin' Hepplewhite: [referring to the girls showing their midriffs on the TV] Ay, that'll be us in the future, bollock-naked all over the place.
- Mrs. Elsie Hepplewhite: [when Charlie is leaving for Cardiff after realising he's gay] Ah, don't worry love. I saw on Trisha a woman wearing a T-shirt saying "I'm proud of my gay son". I'll get one of them
- Richard 'Fagin' Hepplewhite: [rising] Yeah, but Mam, I'm your son!
- Mrs. Elsie Hepplewhite: Well, I'll get one saying "I'm proud of my son's gay apprentice!" instead.
- PC Claude Cox: [when revealing Victor as a female bank robber] You see, they often frequent the Wye valley.
- Charlie: What?
- PC Claude Cox: They were lesbians!
- PC Claude Cox: Ah, I wouldn't worry - there's lots for a gay to do in Cardiff.
- Richard 'Fagin' Hepplewhite: Like work on S4C?
