- Iron Man: [after being taken out by a primitive yet effective weapon, a log] Now, that was embarrassing.
- General Nick Fury: This one needs a clear head in the lead, Captain. You're carrying too much baggage. Widow, you'll be in command.
- Hank Pym: Demoted. I guess that makes him Private America, huh?
- [while selecting an Iron Man costume model]
- Jarvis: I've always fancied the design and color scheme of the tailwind model.
- Tony Stark: Nah, I believe heavy equipment is in order. The War Machine. Sturdy, impervious...
- Jarvis: And handles like 10-tons of tractor.
- Tony Stark: Yeah, but it's got some sweet guns.
- Herr Kleiser: [to T'Chaka] Your prowess in battle never fails to entertain. But after so many performances, I am here to ensure your retirement.
- General Nick Fury: What's happened to you, son? Why are you such a mess?
- Captain America: I'm fine, sir.
- General Nick Fury: No, you're not. You need R & R like everyone else.
- Captain America: I'm a super soldier.
- General Nick Fury: You're a man.
- General Nick Fury: Any progress on locating, Thor?
- S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent: Sorry, sir. He's been a no-show at every environmental protest on the planet.
- General Nick Fury: Keep checking every hippie rally you can think of.
- Black Widow: [about the Chitauri mothership] Can you get through its defenses?
- Iron Man: Hey, piece of cake. Except for that big cannon. Not a fan of the big cannon.
- General Nick Fury: It's not everyday we save the world.
- Thor: Actually, General, I have saved Midgard on several occasions. Did you not hear of my victory over the fire demon Surter? They speak of it still in the Halls of Valhalla.
