Michael J. Nelson credited as playing...
Mike Nelson
- [Upon seeing Coleman Francis in "Red Zone Cuba"]
- Mike Nelson: Coleman Francis is Curly Howard in "The Fugitive".
- Crow: [as Curly] Hey, Moe.
- [Griffin, played by director Coleman Francis, is taken captive by Cuban soldiers]
- Mike Nelson: [as Cuban soldier] The Yankees will pay highly for you, Señor Francis.
- [a small handful of mercenaries are storming the beaches of Cuba]
- Mike Nelson: Man, can you imagine being Castro and seeing that force swarming up at you?
- Cook: My name's Cook. That's Landis. We been up the river.
- [Cook laughs oddly]
- Mike Nelson: [as Cook] That's my little joke.
- [the incredibly ugly Cherokee Jack is introduced]
- Mike Nelson: Ah, another Hollywood pretty boy.
- Crow T. Robot: Take a long second and get used to this face.
- Crow T. Robot: You know, aside from the fact that I'll never experience joy in my life, I don't think Red Zone Cuba had any kind of negative effect on me.
- Mike Nelson: Yeah, even being Carol Channing didn't shield me from the effect of this one.
- Tom Servo: Well, hey! I know what we can do to cheer ourselves up! Let's sing us a bouncy, upbeat song! Okay?
- Crow T. Robot: That's a great idea!
- Mike Nelson: Okay!
- Tom Servo: Hit it, Cambot!
- [singing]
- Tom Servo: Whenever I want to cry and bawl, Because I'm feeling sad, I think of ironing boards and drywall, And then I don't feel so bad!
- Crow T. Robot: [singing] Whenever I'm feeling down and blue, And sorry for myself, I get some staples and some glue, And I'm happy as an elf!
- Mike Nelson: [singing]
- [singing]
- Mike Nelson: Whenever I start to mope and pout, And there's nothing left in my soul, I check the toilet paper and if we're out, I buy another roll!
- Gypsy: [singing] Have you ever touched a Post-it Note? Have you ever looked at boots? Have you ever sat down in a chair? Have you ever used a paper clip?
- Crow T. Robot: [singing] So if you listen to our advice,
- Tom Servo: [singing] And you wanna feel terrific!
- Gypsy: [singing] Do things that make you feel nice,
- Mike Nelson: [singing] I wish we could be more specific!
