Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson

The Giant Spider Invasion

Mike Nelson

Mike Nelson: Ya know, in her defense, laying off the booze would mean seeing him sober...

Mike Nelson: Oh, hey Gyps'. What happened to the zucchini throw pillow things that Mrs. Forrester sent us?
Gypsy: I put them in a safe place.
Mike Nelson: Okay, and where's that?
Gypsy: A place where you would meet a horrible demise before laying your polluting fingers upon them.
Tom Servo: So you put them in Mike's laundry basket?

Mike Nelson: [sing-song] I love tick infested hounds, slaughtering a deer and beer...

Mike Nelson: You know, they're poor only in money... and spirit... and dignity... and moral fiber... and hygiene

Mike Nelson: Bobo, Is that you? I mean, really you?
Bobo: No, it's John Schuck on a bad hair day. Of course it's me, and I'm fine but these two, hoo-hoo-hoo, they really love their zucchinis. In fact they're packin' 'em up so they can deliver zucchinis to their friends all over the galaxy.
Mike Nelson: Now, now, now listen very carefully, Bobo. These pods grow aliens who replace your body. If they're loading them into the truck that means the whole galaxy could be in danger.
Bobo: Oh come now, ha. Just because they load a bunch of zucchini throw pillows onto a truck doesn't mean they're trying to take over the galaxy. Haha. Proposterous, typical of you with your back and your Braun hand blenders. Haha. Oh look, I'll just ask her. Oh say, Lawgiver, now are those evil pods? And are you trying to take over the galaxy?
Pearl Forrester: Yes, and yes. Excuse me, please.
Bobo: Well, I guess I can see how you could misconstrue that, Nelson, but I'm still not convinced.

Bobo: Nelson, I see your point. You may be onto something. The Universe is in danger but don't you worry, no-siree Bob, I'm on the job. I'll stop these two wretched creatures and foil their little plan. I'll mmm-hmm-hmm-mmm.
Mike Nelson: Well, again we're doomed.

Mike Nelson: [singing] The hills are alive with the stink of that guy, his back brace is smelly...

Mike Nelson: [as Dan Kester chases Teri out of the room in his filthy long johns] And the movie just ramps up the repulsion.
Crow: This movie hates us doesn't it?

Ev Kester: You know it's too bad that there's this li'l age difference between us.
Tom Servo: She's drinking fermented Yoo-Hoo.
Ev Kester: If you were five years older, I'd jump ya.
Mike Nelson: Well, I've got cables in the car, Ma'am.