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Future War (1999)

Michael J. Nelson: Mike Nelson

Future War

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Michael J. Nelson credited as playing...

Mike Nelson

Quotes11

  • [while observing the lead actor of "Future War"]
  • Crow: Hey, it's Jean-Claude Van Damme!
  • Mike Nelson: More like Jean-Claude Gosh Darn.
  • [an opening credit says "special appearance by Mel Novak"]
  • Mike Nelson: It'd be more special if we knew who the hell he was!
  • Sister Ann: How is it you know English today, but you didn't know English yesterday?
  • Mike Nelson: Bad screenwriting, really.
  • Tom Servo: [as the spaceship comes into view on screen] Wait! Another movie started!
  • Mike Nelson: [identifies the ship which the front looks much like a dustbuster] Dustbuster Galactica.
  • Crow T. Robot: [summarizing the film] Maybe this is an anthology of short, plotless movies.
  • [Runaway is surrounded by cardboard boxes]
  • Crow T. Robot: He's "boxed" in!
  • Mike Nelson: Yeah, well I'm card-"bored".
  • Mike Nelson: Battle of the guys who peaked in high school!
  • Mike Nelson: [after a dinosaur has been killed] I came to warn you... an asteroid.
  • [as Runaway and the cyborg fight]
  • Crow T. Robot: This is hard to watch because I care about them both so much.
  • Mike Nelson: I care about the boxes. I mean, why should innocent freight have to suffer?
  • [upon seeing one of the actors is named "Robert Z'dar"]
  • Mike Nelson: Oh, Z'no.
  • Sister Ann: I was studying to become a nun. But now, I was having second thoughts.
  • Mike Nelson: [Over shot of a Virgin Mary statue] I'm Mary; this is my story.
  • Crow T. Robot: He's like Jean Claude Van Damme.
  • Mike Nelson: Actually he's more like Jean Claude Gosh Darn.

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