Joyce DeWitt credited as playing...
Janet Wood
- [Jack takes a bite of the lousy scrambled eggs made by Janet]
- Jack Tripper: [disgusted] Um... I, uh... This... this is horrible. Ohh!
- Chrissy: Well, do you think you can do any better?
- Jack Tripper: The proof will be in the eating. Let me see what you got in here.
- [looks in the refrigerator]
- Jack Tripper: Okay, eggs, butter. What are these, mushrooms? An onion. We'll start with that.
- Janet Wood: Start what?
- Jack Tripper: Eggs Madeira Funchal.
- [to Chrissy:]
- Jack Tripper: Can you boil an egg?
- Chrissy: Well, I don't know. Eleanor always did the cooking.
- [Jack pats Chrissy on her head before he moves on to prepare the meal]
- Janet Wood: Are you sure you know what you're doing?
- Jack Tripper: Oh, yes. I... I'm studying to be a chef at the L.A. Technical College. You are looking at the Galloping Gourmet of 1980.
- Janet Wood: Oh, it takes that long?
- Jack Tripper: You have to learn how to trot before you can gallop... Who said that?
- Janet Wood: [Jack's agreed to move in] Let's get one thing straight first. This is your room. That is our room. One false move and we take you right to the vet.
- Jack Tripper: How about you, what do you do?
- Chrissy: I work in a pool.
- Jack Tripper: [much enamored] You're a lifeguard?
- Janet Wood: She means a typing pool.
- Jack Tripper: [eyes surfing curves] You're a typist? With a shape like that?
- Chrissy: Oh, it doesn't get into the way.
- Jack Tripper: No, what I meant was you're great-looking.
- Chrissy: Oh, thank you.
- Jack Tripper: And to keep all that hidden.
- Janet Wood: [to this amorous cook] I think your onions are overheating.
- Chrissy: Janet works in a flower shop. Isn't that exciting?
- Jack Tripper: [of course not interested the tiniest little bit] Terrific.
- Chrissy: [doorbell rings] I'll get it.
- [goes off]
- Jack Tripper: [to Janet] As far as I'm concerned, she's already got it.
- Chrissy: Now what's there to talk over, Janet? I mean, I think he'd make a terrific roommate.
- Janet Wood: [mouth full] Oh, so do I.
- Chrissy: Okay, let's ask him.
- [chews with gusto]
- Janet Wood: No, no, no. Before we rush into this, I think we should add up the plusses and the minuses.
- Chrissy: All right.
- Janet Wood: Okay. He is a great cook.
- Chrissy, Janet Wood: Plus!
- Janet Wood: He would be good protection for us around the house.
- Chrissy, Janet Wood: Plus!
- Janet Wood: He's very good-looking.
- Chrissy, Janet Wood: Plus/minus!
- Chrissy: Minus?
- Janet Wood: Minus! You saw the way he was looking at you in there. I know you, Chrissy, you have a very low melting point.
- Chrissy: That's true.
- Janet Wood: Mm-hmm. I mean, with just a little bit of sweet-talking you fall apart. Look what happened with Frank.
- Chrissy: I know. But Frank seemed so nice. He said he wanted me for a friend.
- Janet Wood: Yeah, and the next night he brought the friend.
- Chrissy: You're right. But with Jack, I'll be strong.
- Janet Wood: No, no. No, no, no, it will not work. You can't help yourself, Chrissy. So... I'm afraid you know what the answer's gotta be.
- Chrissy: Yeah. You'll have to be strong enough for both of us.
- Chrissy: [came from the bathroom] There's a man in there!
- Janet Wood: A what?
- Chrissy: A man! A man! A guy! Asleep in the bathtub!
- Janet Wood: [re black-burned slices] Oh, boy... you really loused up that toast.
- Chrissy: It's not my fault. Eleanor didn't leave the recipe.
