Zach Braff credited as playing...
Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Dude, he keeps a hug schedule with his friends.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Oh, okay, Turk! Looks like someone's getting crossed off their two o'clock spot and getting pencilled in for never. How does that feel? Does it sting?
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: It's never easy when someone accuses you of screwing up, especially when you know it's true. When that happens you can't shrug it off, because in a hospital the best way to learn from your mistakes is to carry them with you.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Why ostriches?
- Mr. Sutton: They're such majestic creatures, don't you think? And, you know, they're kinda like my children. Plus, I make belts out of their necks.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: OK... look, Mr Sutton, I'm sure you're wondering why I'm here
- [Turk gets thrown in through the window, screaming]
- Mr. Sutton: There is a door!
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Man...
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Are you OK? Did you try and escape?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: I did escape... there was one waiting in the car.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Ah...
- Mr. Sutton: That's Leon. Loves the car rides. Likes to stick his head out the window... I tell him it's a little too dangerous but he doesn't listen to me.
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Mr Sutton, I cured you and you never thanked me.
- Mr. Sutton: Why would I thank you for doing your job? I'm a garbage man: how many times a day do you think I get thanked?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Six.
- Mr. Sutton: You're off by about six.
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Twelve!
- Mr. Sutton: I'm starting to see why Leon outfoxed you...
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Stupid bird stole my hat!
- [Sutton leaves the room]
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: I just don't see why it's such a big deal for you to say "Hey, doc...". Why'd he just walk away like that?
- Dr. Christopher Turk: [mumbling] I don't know.
- [Leon enters the room; he sports Turk's hat; J.D. And Turk slowly turn around]
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: Ruh-roh...
- Dr. Christopher Turk: Don't move...
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: I gotta admit he look pretty phat in your Kangol...
- Dr. John "J.D." Dorian: This whole experience got me thinking about the nature of gratitude. I guess in the end whether you're a doctor or a garbage man...
- Dr. Bob Kelso: Dorian! What are you doing?
