Elayne Boosler credited as playing...
Joy Buscaglia
- Dan Fielding: Excuse me, anything for me?
- Joy Buscaglia: Yeah, your doctor phoned and said your tests came out negative.
- Dan Fielding: Are you sure?
- Joy Buscaglia: Hey, it's a poor musician who blames his instrument.
- Joy Buscaglia: Sullivan!
- Christine Sullivan: Yes, right here!
- Joy Buscaglia: Your phone messages!
- Christine Sullivan: Oh, thank you.
- [takes them and stops]
- Christine Sullivan: Uh, excuse me, these are in Braille.
- Joy Buscaglia: [takes them back and slaps her hand on the first one] Your father wants to know why you're avoiding him.
- [crumples it and slaps the next one]
- Joy Buscaglia: Your singles club canceled the hayride because everybody else thought it was stupid.
- [crumples it and slaps the last one]
- Joy Buscaglia: And some twerp named Rod phoned and said he can't wait to see his "Lammycakes" for some "smoochy-pie."
- Christine Sullivan: [embarrassed] Gee, thanks.
- Joy Buscaglia: Hey, I'd love to stay and schmooze, but I can tell you two civic giants want to be alone. Maybe you can rub your skulls together and come up with a thought or something. Later.
- [she exits]
- Cooper: You know, it's a shame we don't burn people at the stake anymore.
- Joy Buscaglia: Now listen, up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once. My name is Joy Buscaglia, I touch-type sixty words a minute, take dictation from transcription, and I'm fastest in the building at the Xerox machine - I don't have to close the lid. Now we're gonna have a few ground rules around here. One...
- [bangs her cane against the desk]
- Joy Buscaglia: We don't move the furniture around. Two: no sneaking up on me! And three: I don't like chit-chat. Do not ask how I am. I'M BLIND! That's how I am.
