Gale Gordon credited as playing...
Mr. Theodore J. Mooney
- Lucy Carmichael: [Lucy and Mr. Mooney are trying to think of someone to endorse their bank] How about the Maharajah of Beverly Hills?
- Theodore J. Mooney: Who?
- Lucy Carmichael: Jack Benny!
- Theodore J. Mooney: Jack Benny?
- Lucy Carmichael: Sure! Everybody knows that Jack Benny doesn't trust banks. He keeps all his money in his house. If we could get his business we could get everyone else's business!
- Theodore J. Mooney: If we could get Jack Benny's business, we wouldn't need anyone else's business!
- [Jack Benny is opening a bank account]
- Mr. Theodore J. Mooney: Your social security number?
- Jack Benny: One.
- Mr. Theodore J. Mooney: Do you have any scars or identifying marks?
- Jack Benny: Well... yes, I have a tattoo done many years ago.
- Mr. Theodore J. Mooney: What does it say?
- [embarrassed, Jack whispers in Mr. Mooney's ear]
- Mr. Theodore J. Mooney: J-e-l-l-o?
- Jack Benny: You see, I had to. In those days, sponsors were hard to come by.
