- Earl Sinclair: I thought I told you to mow the lawn.
- Robbie Sinclair: I told you, the lawn mower is broken.
- Earl Sinclair: Scissors. Cut it with scissors.
- Robbie Sinclair: Oh come on.
- Earl Sinclair: Geez you kids have it too easy. When I was your age we didn't have lawn mowers, we didn't have scissors, we had to get down on all fours and graze like a cow.
- Robbie Sinclair: Dad.
- Earl Sinclair: Mooooo.
- Clerk at Death Pit: I present to you the ultimate symbol of male supremacy, the TV remote control.
- Earl: I won't be home for dinner, Roy and I are going down to the mall to cruise the food court...
- Robbie: Isn't it a work night?
- Earl: But Roy is going.
- Robbie: Well I'm not Roy's father. Oh I see, you're testing me. Well I think you're at an age where you're mature enough to make your own decisions.
- Earl: Oh cool. Have some wax lips.
- Robbie Sinclair: Dad, I'm here with a girl. It might help if you didn't make me look like the world's biggest weenie.
- Earl Sinclair: Well pardon me, Mr. Dignified, I didn't mean to belittle you as you were about to hit the ball up the clown's pants.
- Robbie Sinclair: Everyday it's the same thing. He comes home and says "Franny, get me a beer." And then he yells at me about something.
- Earl Sinclair: Oh not true. Sometimes I yell at you first.
- Fran Sinclair: Earl Sneed, Sinclair if you touch one scale on that boy's head, I'll disconnect your premium cable channels.
- Earl: You'd make me watch basic?
- [Robbie tackles him]
- Robbie: Can I have a moment's peace? I was at work all day.
- Fran Sinclair: Robbie, you are the supreme male. These are your responsibilities now. If you can't handle them, maybe you should turn them over to someone with more maturity.
- Earl: [wearing goofy glasses] Whoa, Fran, I can see your underwear.
- Fran Sinclair: The baby flushed his caveman doll down the toilet and now it's backed up.
- Robbie: So?
- Fran Sinclair: So, we don't have a working bathroom.
- Robbie: We live in a forest! There's nothing BUT bathrooms! Trees and bushes as far as the eye can see!
- Fran Sinclair: Fine, if you won't fix it, I'll just call a plumber.
- Robbie: Oh no, you're not spending my hard-earned money on some over-priced wrench jockey.
- Fran Sinclair: Robbie!
- Robbie: [Robbie confronts Earl at the miniature golf course] I am fed up! I HAVE HAD IT! I can't take it anymore! There's bills... and... and the taxes... and the baby... and...
- Roy Hess: Maybe we should let the next foursome play through.
- Earl: [Robbie is crying] There, there, son. I know exactly what you're trying to say. You have had a rough time being supreme male, what with the job and the household and the responsibilities way past your years.
- Robbie: And the baby... hit me on the head... with a big heavy...
- Earl: Round thing, yeah. And you want me to take over again as head of the household so you can go back to being the carefree teenager again. Is that right?
- Robbie: Yes, Daddy.
- Earl: Well forget it! Now get off my lane, I'm putting for birdie.
- Robbie: But you have to take over!
- Earl: Not a chance! I'm having the time of my life and nothing's gonna make me give it up.
- P.A. Announcer: Earl Sinclair, more bad news. Your wife's here.
- Roy Hess: Gee, this really is a family fun center.
- Robbie: Mommy, tell him to be supreme male again.
- Earl: Can't make me.
- Fran Sinclair: Alright, that's enough from both of you.
- [to Earl]
- Fran Sinclair: He can't handle the household, and it's time you started acting like an adult again.
- Earl: Don't wanna!
- Fran Sinclair: We're going right down to the Office of Male Supremecy and get you reinstated as head of the house.
- Earl: [childishly] Why should I?
- Fran Sinclair: Earl, do you really mean to say there's nothing you miss about being an adult?
- Earl: ... Can't think of any.
- Fran Sinclair: What about Thursday nights?
- Earl: [looks at her] *Our* Thursday nights?
- Fran Sinclair: Thursday nights are for adults only, Earl.
- [Charlene stutters at Robbie; who is in a bad mood after his 30th day at work]
- Robbie Sinclair: [annoyed] What?
- Charlene Sinclair: Well, since you've been helping me with my homework, I've got a shot of getting my first B.
- Robbie Sinclair: What is it?
- Charlene Sinclair: So, I was wondering, could you help find the continent of Pangaea on this map?
- [Charlene opens the map which shows the continent of Pangaea]
- Robbie Sinclair: You're grounded for a week.
- Charlene Sinclair: For what?
- Robbie Sinclair: *Stupidity*!
- Charlene Sinclair: You can't ground me for that!
- Robbie Sinclair: Are we trying for a month?
- Charlene Sinclair: Yeah, but...
- [leaves in anger]
- Charlene Sinclair: Oh, brothers! You are...
- Robbie Sinclair: Hey, and shut that door! Do I have to air-condition the whole neighborhood?
- [the door slams shut]
