Tamsin Greig: Fran

Fever

Fran

Fran: If I told you the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think I was mad?
Bernard: No, I would ask you to come 'round and look after my small children.
Fran: Look, if you don't believe me you can come 'round and we'll watch the walls.
Manny: Don't be ridiculous. You'll be staying in watching the thermometer with me, won't you Bernard?
Bernard: Oh, I dunno, walls, thermometers, it's an impossible decision. I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.

Bernard: [Bernard watches a beautiful woman walk by] Mustn't stare, mustn't stare.
Fran: You haven't stared at me...
Bernard: You're my oldest friend. Anyway, you look like you just fell out of a tree.

Fran: Okay, if I told you that the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think that I was strange?
Bernard: No, I'd ask you to come 'round and look after my small children.

Fran: Just a few hours please? I'm lying there writhing, all sticky and glistening...
Bernard: Stop. It!

Bernard: You've got yourself a case, you should get a lawyer.
Manny: Expensive though. Maybe get someone to pretend to be a lawyer.
Bernard: Yeah, get someone who's a bit like a lawyer - arrogant, cruel, crooked, a real bastard.
[Manny and Fran stare at Bernard]
Bernard: No, I'm not doing it.
Fran: Oh, go on! And then when you get a girlfriend, I'll give you a reference! I'll lie, I'll say you were... okay.
Bernard: Alright, deal.

Bernard: You're my oldest friend. Don't you think it's about time we admitted how we feel about each other. Just for the summer?
Fran: No. I don't. I think we should wait.
Bernard: Until when?
Fran: Until at least one of us is dead.

Fran: Well if you don't believe me you can come round tonight and we'll watch the wall!
Manny: Don't be ridiculous;we'll be staying in watching the thermometer,won't we Bernard?
Bernard: I don't know,it's an impossible choice;walls,thermometers,I just have to hope when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.

Fran: Oh, coffee, yeah, yeah. Coffee that I spilled on the carpet, you picked up with tweezers, put in a jar and now you're going to serve it right back to me.