- Randolph Burnside: There they were, a happy couple, and all because they believed that Prince Burhan had killed himself for love of her. He had given them a precious legacy. Who was I to rob them of it?
- [speaks to camera]
- Randolph Burnside: Would you have?
- [first lines]
- [opens with Hitchcock in a spider's web]
- Himself - Host: Good evening. And thank you for allowing me to come into your parlor. It all happened so suddenly. I was walking along when I heard someone saying: "Knit one, purl one" and I came over to see what she was doing. The really frightening part is that I forgot my hunting license. Oh, well, the show must go on even though I may not. Tonight's entertainment is entitled "The Legacy." Through it, you will journey to Palm Beach and rub elbows with the idle rich and members of the international set. But before we join these useless playboys of a decaying society, let us heed the advice of a man who is earnest productive and steadfast. A pillar of our civilization and the sugar daddy of television: the sponsor.
- [last lines]
- Himself - Host: I suppose you're wondering how I escaped. Fortunately, my captor dropped a stitch at a crucial moment. In the event you may have missed a few Freudian overturns of our story, I should like to offer a brief explanation. Irene Cole was a compulsive knitter with a Madame Defarge complex. Howard Cole was an extrovert, who suffered from a regressive libido, an Oedipus complex, schizophrenia, and an extremely low sales resistance. Prince Burhan's sports car was obviously the symbol for his mother. He always wanted to drive her mad, and the accident wasn't caused by defective brakes at all. The automobile was psychosomatic, it has since undergone analysis and is now well-adjusted. I hope this makes everything clear. And now before I return, my sponsor will indulge in a bit of symbolism of his own. For which I can offer *no* explanation.
- [commercial break]
- Himself - Host: I hope you enjoyed that, I know Freud would have. Join us again next week when we shall be back with another story. Good night.
