James Fox credited as playing...
Mr. Salt
- Veruca Salt: Daddy, I want a squirrel. Get me one of those squirrels, I want one!
- Mr. Salt: Veruca dear, you have many marvelous pets.
- Veruca Salt: All I've got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!
- Mr. Salt: All right, pet. Daddy will get you a squirrel just as soon as he possibly can.
- Veruca Salt: But I don't want any old squirrel! I want a *trained* squirrel!
- Mr. Salt: [wearily] Very well. Mr. Wonka? How much do you want for one of these squirrels? Name your price.
- Willy Wonka: [Veruca looks at him and grins like the Cheshire cat] Oh they're not for sale. She can't have one.
- Veruca Salt: [drops her smile and glares towards her father] Daddy!
- Willy Wonka: [imitating Mr. Salt] I'm sorry, darling. Mr. Wonka's being unreasonable.
- Veruca Salt: [directs towards her father] If you won't get me a squirrel, I'll get one myself!
- Mr. Salt: [as the squirrels take Veruca] Where are they taking her?
- Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad nuts go, to the garbage chute.
- Mr. Salt: Where does the chute go?
- Willy Wonka: To the incinerator. But don't worry, we only light it on Tuesdays.
- Mike Teavee: Today *is* Tuesday.
- Willy Wonka: [after a pause] Well, there's always a chance they decided not to light it today.
- Willy Wonka: Watch this!
- [pulls a handle on a large machine, that begins to make noise! As everyone watches, it eventually dispenses a small stick of gum, that Violet Beauregarde takes]
- Mike Teavee: [unamused] You mean that's it?
- Willy Wonka: Do you even know what 'it' is?
- Violet Beauregarde: [matter-of-factly] It's gum.
- Willy Wonka: Yeah, it's a stick of the most amazing and sensational gum in the whole universe, heh, know why, know why? Because this gum is a full three-course dinner all by itself!
- Mr. Salt: Why would anyone want that?
- Willy Wonka: [looks confused, then pulls out his cards and reads from one] It will be the end of all kitchens and all cooking. Just a strip of Wonka's Magic Chewing gum and that is, all you will ever need at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This gum happens to be tomato soup, roast beef, and blueberry pie!
- Grandpa Joe: It sounds great!
- Veruca Salt: It sounds weird.
- Violet Beauregarde: Sounds like my kinda gum.
- [removes her own gum from her mouth and sticks it behind her ear]
- Willy Wonka: [worriedly] I'd rather you didn't, there's still one or two things that are...
- Violet Beauregarde: [confidently] I'm the World Record holder in chewing gum. I'm not afraid of anything!
- [pops the gum in her mouth and starts to chew]
- Mrs. Beauregarde: How is it, honey?
- Violet Beauregarde: It's amazing! Tomato soup, I can feel it running down my throat!
- Willy Wonka: Yeah! Spit it out!
- Grandpa Joe: Young lady, I think you'd better...
- Violet Beauregarde: It's changing... roast beef, with baked potato. Crispy skin and butter!
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Keep chewing, kiddo! My little girl's gonna be the first person in the world to have a chewing gum meal!
- Willy Wonka: Yeah. I'm just a little concerned about the...
- Violet Beauregarde: Blueberry pie and ice cream!
- Willy Wonka: That part.
- Veruca Salt: [staring at Violet] What's happening to her nose?
- [Violet keeps chewing and her nose starts turning color]
- Mr. Salt: It's turning blue!
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Your whole nose has gone purple!
- Violet Beauregarde: [touching her nose] W-What do you mean?
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Violet, you're turning violet!
- [to Wonka; concerned]
- Mrs. Beauregarde: What's happening?
- Willy Wonka: Well, I told you I hadn't quite got it right, 'cause it goes a little funny when it gets to the dessert. It's the Blueberry Pie that does it. I'm terribly sorry!
- Violet Beauregarde: Mother, what's happening to me?
- [continues to turn blue and starts to grow]
- Grandpa Joe: She's swelling up!
- Charlie Bucket: Like a blueberry!
- Willy Wonka: [to Mrs. Beauregarde] I've tried it on like twenty Oompa-Loompas and each one ended up as a blueberry. Heh, it's just weird!
- Mrs. Beauregarde: But I can't have a blueberry as a daughter! How is she supposed to compete?
- Veruca Salt: You could put her in a county fair!
- [Wonka laughs; Mrs. Beauregarde looks at Veruca viciously]
- [Augustus is still covered into chocolate as he and his mother leave the factory]
- Mrs. Gloop: [distressed] Augustus, please don't eat your fingers.
- Augustus Gloop: [eating off his fingers] But I taste so good.
- [Mrs. Beauregarde and her daughter then leave the factory; Violet has much of the juice squeezed from her body and is doing handstands and cartwheels, still blue]
- Violet Beauregarde: [after shaping into a pretzel shape] Look mother, I'm much more flexible now.
- Mrs. Beauregarde: [disapprovingly] Yes, but you're blue.
- [Mr. Salt and his daughter then leave the factory, both covered into garbage; He attempts with extraordinary endeavor to control his visible anger against Veruca]
- Veruca Salt: [seeing the glass elevator floating into the sky] Daddy, I want a flying glass elevator!
- Mr. Salt: Veruca, the only thing you're getting today is a bath, and that's final!
- Veruca Salt: [glares at him, strongly disagrees] But I want it!
- [Mr. Salt fiercely glares back at Veruca, leading her to remain quiet. Mr. Teavee and his son then leave the factory; Mike's body is completely extended and looking tall and thin]
- Willy Wonka: And the rest of you must be their p-p-...
- Mr. Salt: Parents?
- Willy Wonka: Yeah! Moms and dads!
- [expression darkens]
- Willy Wonka: Dad? Papa?
- Veruca Salt: [outside the Chocolate Factory] Daddy, I want to go in.
- Mr. Salt: [looks at the time on his watch] It's 9:59, sweetheart.
- Veruca Salt: Make time go faster.
- Charlie Bucket: Do you think Mr. Wonka will recognize you?
- Grandpa Joe: Hard to say. It's been years.
- Mrs. Beauregarde: Eyes on the prize, Violet. Eyes on the prize.
- Mike Teavee: [seeing the Oompa-Loompas for the first time] Are they real people?
- Willy Wonka: Of course they're real people. They're Oompa Loompas.
- Mr. Salt: Oompa Loompas?
- Willy Wonka: Imported. Direct from Loompaland.
- Mr. Teavee: There's no such place.
- Willy Wonka: What?
- Mr. Teavee: Mr. Wonka, I teach high school geography, and I'm here to tell you...
- Willy Wonka: Well, then, you'll know all about it and, oh, what a terrible country it is.
- Willy Wonka: I'm sorry, I was having a flashback.
- Mr. Salt: I see.
- Mr. Teavee: These flashbacks happen often?
- Willy Wonka: Increasingly... today.
- Mr. Salt: Ah, this is a room I know all about. For you see, Mr. Wonka, I myself am in the nut business.
- [hands Willy Wonka his business card, Willy flings this away without looking at this]
- Mr. Salt: Are you using the Havermax 4000 to do your sorting?
- Willy Wonka: [laughing] No, I don't think so. You're really weird.
- Mr. Salt: [after the Oompa Loompas sing and dance] I do say, that all seemed rather rehearsed. Like they knew it was gonna happen.
- Mr. Teavee: Is it just me, or does Wonka seem a few quarters short of a buck?
- Mr. Salt: I'm sorry, I don't speak American.
