Orlando Wells credited as playing...
Alexander 'Alex' Stanton • Alex
- [trying to dissuade Jamie from handing out flyers with his phone number on the streets]
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Do you really think any girl in her right mind is gonna call you?
- Jamie Collier: Two words my son... Sex Digest.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Two more... Insane asylum.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: You were flirting with him all night!
- Nicki Sutton: Who?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Serge!
- Nicki Sutton: I was NOT.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Nicki, your knickers were around your ankles
- Nicki Sutton: I wanna know who he lost his virginity to.
- Suzanne 'Sooz' Lee: We're not doing that, are we?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Well I can tell you... She was more woman than you'll ever be, and more man than you'll ever get.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: I don't want cheering up. I'm enjoying being miserable. It's a part of the process. It's like grieving. It's necessary.
- Nicki Sutton: It is?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Let's get this straight: For the record, I hate musicals, especially "The Wizard of Oz"! I think all modern art is pretentious junk. And shopping is NOT better than sex! Especially when it's instead of sex! Now, I don't know what manual on gay men you've been consulting, but it's out of date, all right?
- [complaining about the age of consent in the UK being higher for homosexuals than for heterosexuals]
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: It's a load of crap all this consent lark. Everyone of my mates is getting it, why can't I?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Aren't you underage?
- Allen Rissbrook: For what?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Drinking. And it's a school night.
- Allen Rissbrook: All work and no play makes Al a dull boy.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: You mean me or you?
- Allen Rissbrook: Sorry, we on a first name terms now?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: No I just...
- Allen Rissbrook: Tell me. Are you feeling lucky tonight then? Cause I am. Al.
- Allen Rissbrook: So here's how I see it. You're almost a teacher, and I'm pretty much a student. So it'd be a really bad idea if you kissed me.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: What?
- Allen Rissbrook: It'd be like crossing a line.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Yeah, and that's precisely why I'm NOT gonna do it.
- Allen Rissbrook: No, but I can SAY ya did. Yeah?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Are you threatening me? When I can tell them that you were sitting in here, underage...
- Allen Rissbrook: [taking one of Alex's tequilas] Drinking a drink that you bought me?
- [Alex grabs his wrist]
- Allen Rissbrook: With you holding my hand?
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: You're screwed up.
- Allen Rissbrook: Kiss me. Or I'll say you did. You know you want to.
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: No I don't.
- Allen Rissbrook: Yes you do. Al... Sir...
- Alexander 'Alex' Stanton: Sooz, This is Jeff. We met over a few beers last night.
- Suzanne 'Sooz' Lee: [wrongly appraising Jeff as a trick] Right.
- Jeff: And what a night it was too. Could hardly walk this morning.
