Arguably one of the worst efforts in 3-D film history, SWINGTAIL's revival courtesy of Something Weird reveals inept film-making at the level where even mediocrity would be an unearned compliment.

It's an early title from Cosmos, the 16mm soft porn company owned by a NYC theater circuit, of which virtually all their titles (per the AFI 1961-1970 catalog) have been reissued by SWV. Essentially an all-sex genre film, similar to the current wave of amateur hardcore nonsense, this one has an unusual bondage/torture scene featuring full frontal male nudity but is essentially one orgy after another featuring top-heavy, over-fed females. They were cast for their racks, not their feminine beauty.

Even in 2-D, the "going out of focus into extreme closeup" effects designed to assuage the 3-D mavens include of course walking into the camera with breasts headed for the lens; a whip being wielded at the lens in an unusual case of cruelty to camera operator ("anything for my art"); the requisite '60s use of Redi Whip whipped cream shot all over female bodies, and in this case directly onto the camera lens (yes, I finally have figured out the symbolic meaning of whipped cream in soft porn films by the Findlays and others), etc.

Most of the film is silent with crummy voice-over, and the occasional dialog interludes are very crudely dubbed, the nominal filmmaker hero given a non-matching Bogie as voiced by Peter Falk (imitation) vocal. There is a conceit of shooting a porn film within a film, which goes nowhere.

The most surprising thing here is that the orgy scenes are shot from long distance as cheaply and amateurishly as possible, failing to exploit in the slightest the upper echelon endowments of the femme cast. Even in decade later hard porn 3-D efforts (HARD CANDY for example), the camera angles and closeups gave a third dimensional enthusiast some fun amidst the otherwise worthless footage.

A jealous sex-film director follows his wanton girlfriend around as she hops from bed to bed on one long night. Originally presented in 3-D.

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