- Cynthia "Fox" Guzzman: I've never been around so many horny people in all my life. Well... at least not since I left All Saints private school.
- Earl "Magic" Walker: Hoo-wee... haven't smelled nuthin' that bad since the days I shared a room with my sister, man.
- [Malice's answering machine]
- J.P. "La Malice" Viau: Hello dere. Single, white, French Canadian guy looking for married, Canadian, black, English girl dat, uh, oh, uh, bad message. Leave me somet'ing, I get it back to you.
- Steve "Grizzly" Bornell: I don't like those oriental types. You never know what they're thinkin'.
- fidel guzman: I will not join team with woman who should clean motel rooms. if flo dies, you call me.
- Ivan Dolvich: [Speaking Russian; after killing an enemy in a rather brutal way] And that's why my nephew is an alcoholic.
- Cynthia "Fox" Guzzman: [after Grizzly has successfully kicked a door in] Way to go, Teddy Bear!
- Cynthia "Fox" Guzzman: [upon realizing an object is trapped] Wait a sec. I don't trust it any more than I do a man's zipper.
- Frankie 'Haywire' Gordon: Ever hear about Vlad the Impaler? Awesome dude with the spikes? He's my hero!
- [Upon killing enemy]
- Monica 'Buns' Sondegaard: Go to sleep, creep.
- [Upon killing enemy]
- Frankie "Haywire" Gordon: How do you like them apples, roadkill!
- [after being hit]
- Bobby "Steroid" Gontarski: They hardly lay hand on me...
- [cough cough]
- Bobby "Steroid" Gontarski: ... Oh, tooth come out.
- Ivan Dolvich: You do not speak Russian? Ah, I miss days when Russia was at war with everybody.
- Igmus "Iggy" Palkov: Why can't more people be like me?Hm?
- Dr. Donna "Spider" Houston: Just when you think homosapiens can't stoop any lower, you find yourself in a group like this.
- Louisa "Buzz" Garnau: Let me make it clear, I hate everybody. And I mean everybody!
- Keith "Blood" Hanson: Don't get me started on South Africans, Man. I wanna stay focused on the job here.
- Bill "Razor" Lamont: I don't know why everyone thinks I'm psychotic, I'm not psychotic, I just have a *passion* for my job.
- Louisa "Buzz" Garnau: i'm sure that's joey graham. i say we castrate him. put an end to his wandering ways.
- Dr. Donna "Spider" Houston: Isn't that the delinquent bully we've been looking for?
- florence "flo" gabriel: For a moment i thought i was with the angels. now i find i'm still in this affair. my suffering knows no bounds.
- Bobby "Steroid" Gontarski: I think of Russia like my mother. Both could die, I would not care.
- Ivan Dolvich: [Speaking Russian; upon finding a weapon he likes] If I keep quiet, I will be able to keep it for myself!
- Norma 'Meltdown' Jessop: [at the end of a battle] Goddamn! They're all dead! I'll have to deal with the disappointment.
- Cynthia "Fox" Guzzman: [after picking up a quality weapon] Too much! Now this was worth bending over for.
- Ivan Dolvich: [upon seeing someone else fire a killshot] Brutal! Like Tolstoy wrote, "War - what is it good for?"
- Igor Dolvich: [upon seeing someone else fire a killshot] Brutal! Like Tolstoy wrote, "War - what is it good for?"
- Charlene "Raven" Higgens: [upon witnessing Ron "Raider" Higgens' death in action] Ron, darling, we always knew this day would come. I'm glad it was you first, because... because I didn't want to leave you alone, the way I am now. Peace be with you, my love.
- Cynthia "Fox" Guzzman: [when the last enemy in current sector dies] Yeah! We did 'em all. I love that.
- Bobby "Steroid" Gontarski: [when his contract is about to expire] My contract is, umm, up yours for renewal if you like job I do for you.
- Norma 'Meltdown' Jessop: [after having fired the killing shot on former colleague, über-mercenary Mike] When Mike saw who he was facin', he knew the end was coming. I could see it in his eyes.
