Almost a total mystery in terms of its cast and director, THE BOYS AND THE BANDIT is just about the most ramshackle production to come across my desk in a while. The only face I recognized was Elliot Crawford, of various Tom DeSimone "Lancer Brooks" productions, along with a few other, better films. His presence here is possibly suggestive of the authorship, though if that's the case, Tom's really flying on autopilot.

Non-story begins with what appears to be a transvestite putting on a wig and primping in the mirror. "Time to wake the boys!", she sings, and goes in to rouse her roommates: Crawford and a cute raven-haired guy who seems kind of uncomfortable being on camera. The two start the day with a quickie, while our protagonist watches through a hole in the bathroom cabinet.

Next seen inviting over a male friend, our heroine and her paramour quickly get down to business, though the guy is in for quite a surprise when he discovers she's packing below the waist. Given the appearance of the character's body in this scene, it starts to become clearer she's transgender. Either way, the guy powers through and finishes: "I can't get over the fact you're not a real girl. You're the first man I've ever been in bed with," he remarks at the kitchen table after. "Man...?" our protagonist demurs, making it clear she doesn't see eye-to-eye on his assessment of things.

Whatever she is, she's good enough for seconds, and the guy is back the following day, where his new girlfriend is eager to introduce him to Crawford and his live-in paramour. The four are in for a shock, however, when a masked assailant blunders in through the back door, taking them hostage at gunpoint and leading to a typical orgy that closes out the film.

To say THE BOYS AND THE BANDIT is plotless is an understatement: this is like three separate scenes in search of a movie - and none of them is particularly erotic. Shot with a minimum of effort, handheld camerawork abounds, with assorted surf rock slathered on the soundtrack in a not-entirely successful bid to blot out the calls of the director. It's certainly possible to find something to say about the film as an early representation of trans-ness (or at least gender fluidity) in porn, though the fact is it's a quite unclear who this is ultimately for. Obviously targeted to gay crowds when it was made, the film nevertheless features numerous sex acts with someone who unambiguously presents as a woman. Given that and the completely shoddy nature of the production, which looks like the product of someone forced to direct at gunpoint and just barely makes it across IMDB's 45-minute feature-length threshold, it's hard to imagine audiences treating this with much beyond bafflement back in the day - or now, for that matter.

The crime genre features criminal activities, investigations, law enforcement, crimes, and the pursuit of justice. Crime stories often revolve around the planning, execution, and consequences of criminal acts, as well as the efforts to solve and prevent such acts. They explore various aspects of criminal behavior, motives, and the moral dilemmas faced by both perpetrators and those seeking to uphold the law.

James Gandolfini, Edie Falco, Sharon Angela, Max Casella, Dan Grimaldi, Joe Perrino, Donna Pescow, Jamie Lynn Sigler, Tony Sirico, and Michael Drayer in The Sopranos (1999)

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The Boys and the Bandit

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