Michael Showalter credited as playing...
Various
- Various: And then what Commandant Wheeler, I'm Doug, and I may not be the brightest tool in the shed, but I had sex with my girlfriend for 2 hours once.
- Dad: You want to be treated like a man then start acting like one!
- Hepcat: I didn't tell you I quit the football team because I didn't think you'd understand my poetry.
- Dad: Again with the car... I work damn hard to put food on the table!
- Hepcat: Because I like my friends, dad. And I don't care if you think they're from the wrong side of the tracks.
- Dad: OK, so I had an affair! Are you gonna torture me for the rest of my life over it?
- Hepcat: Ricky died in a plane crash, dad!
- [holding back tears]
- Hepcat: I'm not my older brother.
- Dad: Get the hell out of here!
- Hepcat: With pleasure!
