Doug E. Doug credited as playing...
SP4 Harvey (H.A.) Ashford
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: Does anybody else here know how to work an elephant?
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: I was in love with a fat woman once, but she never listened to me.
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [Bo-Tat has vomitted on the boat deck] My kids are gonna ask me: "Daddy, what's the worst thing you saw in the war?" After this, there's no contest!
- [as Harvey rushes towards the village to help his comrades, a crow lands in his path]
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [scoffs and racks the bolt of his rifle] Bird if I were you, I'd get the hell out of here!
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [into radio] Request fire mission and expedite. Target coordinates Bravo-Romeo seven-four-five-six-five-seven-two-niner. Fire one marking round.
- [as Quang watches through his binoculars, a shell lands just aft of the Marie Antoinette. His crew laughs at the Americans' incompetence]
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Barney, that was perfect, man!
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: No, it wasn't perfect, it almost hit us! Give him the coordinates...!
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Captain, we're moving! Those coordinates should be perfect, right about...
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: Better be right...
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: [into radio] Fire for effect!
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: Better be right...
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Now.
- [Quang looks through his binoculars again, and sees the Americans laughing and waving goodbye]
- Lt. Quang, NVA: GET OFF THE BOAT!
- [His crew stop laughing and dive overboard just before a shell blows it out of the water]
- [as the team prepares to move out, a crow lands in a branch over Harvey's head. He freezes]
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Hey, you know what? All of a sudden my legs don't work.
- Goddard: Would anyone like some wine?
- David Poole, Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Yeah!
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: Wine? No! What is this, the opening of an art gallery? The Green Beret motto is "Live Free or Die!" not "Eat, Drink and Be Merry!"
- Capt. Sam Cahill: [as Goddard uncorks a jug] Yeah, now it is!
- Capt. T.C. Doyle: [skyward] What did I do? What did I do?
- [preparing to jump out of the cargo plane]
- Capt. Sam Cahill: Stand by...!
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Ready?
- Sp5 Lawrence Farley: Yeah.
- Harvey (H.A.) Ashford: Okay.
- Capt. Sam Cahill: Go, go, go!
- David Poole: Uh, I can't go, guys, I left something back inside...
- [Harvey and Farley exchange a look...]
- David Poole: I'm an office guy, man, I work in an office...
- [they grab him and all three tumble out of the plane together]
- David Poole: ... *behind a desk!*
