Michelan Sisti credited as playing...
Michaelangelo • Pizza Man
- Michaelangelo: [watching Aesop and Son - "Tortoise and the Hare" on TV] Go! Move it, will ya? Aw, you're letting him blow right by ya! Can you believe this guy? Come on! Don't just...! Ninja-kick the damn rabbit! Do something!
- [last lines]
- Leonardo: We were awesome!
- Michaelangelo: Bodacious!
- Raphael: Bitchin'!
- Donatello: Uh...
- Michaelangelo: Gnarly!
- Leonardo: Radical!
- Raphael: Totally tubular, dude!
- Michaelangelo: Wicked!
- Leonardo: Hellacious!
- Donatello: Uh, mega...
- [Splinter clears his throat, the Turtles clam up]
- Splinter: I have always liked... Cowabunga.
- Leonardo, Michaelangelo, Raphael, Donatello: COWABUNGA!
- Splinter: [laughs] I made a funny!
- Delivery Man: [searching for Michaelangelo's address] OK, 122... 122 1/8? 122 1/8. Terrific. Where the heck is 122 1/8?
- Michaelangelo: [through the sewer grate] You're standing on it, Dude! Just pass it down here!
- [the Delivery Man passes pizza through the grate, and $10 is passed up]
- Delivery Man: Gimme that!... Hey, this is a $10! The tab's $13!
- Michaelangelo: You're two minutes late, dude!
- Delivery Man: Oh, come on, I couldn't find the place!
- Michaelangelo: Wise man say: "Forgiveness is divine, but never pay full price for late pizza."
- Delivery Man: [walks away] I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere...
- Michaelangelo: Oh man, I could go for a little deep dish action right about now.
- Danny: I had some pizza here the other day. There might be some left over.
- [Donatello takes a look]
- Michaelangelo: Well?
- Donatello: Question!
- Michaelangelo: Grrr, yeah?
- Donatello: Do you like penicillin on your pizza?
- Michaelangelo: Doh!
- [Donatello and Michelangelo start humming "Taps" and set the pizza aside]
- Michaelangelo: [Leonardo slices up pizza] Yes, friends, the new turbo ginsu. Wa-hoo! It dices, it slices, and it makes French fries and three different...
- [a pizza slice lands on Splinter's head]
- Michaelangelo: WHOOPS.
- Splinter: Kids.
- Donatello: We were awesome.
- Michaelangelo: Yes, Dudes and Dudettes, major-league butt-kicking is back in town.
- The Shredder: [confronting the turtles] You fight well... in the old style. But you've caused me enough trouble. Now you face: the Shredder.
- Donatello: The Shredder?
- Michaelangelo: Uuh... maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.
- [a member of the Foot pulls out a nunchuk]
- Michaelangelo: Oh, a fellow chucker, eh?
- [engages in a contest with the Foot Ninja, and wins]
- Michaelangelo: Keep practicing!
- Leonardo: [of Shredder, who just showed up] Can anyone tell me who or what this is?
- Michaelangelo: Don't know, but I bet it never has to look for a can-opener.
- [fighting Foot Soldiers]
- Michaelangelo: Hey Donny, looks like this one is suffering from SHELL shock!
- Donatello: Too derivative.
- Michaelangelo: Well, I guess we can really SHELL it out!
- Donatello: Too cliché.
- Michaelangelo: Well, it was a SHELL of a good hit!
- Donatello: I like it!
- April O'Neil: My nearest neighbors are about four miles away. I need to get to a phone and call my boss.
- Casey Jones: You mean Charles?
- April O'Neil: Yes; how did you know that?
- Casey Jones: He left a message on your machine, uh, just before we got out...
- April O'Neil: And?
- Casey Jones: Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper. Um... You were fired.
- April O'Neil: I just saved myself?
- Casey Jones: [oblivious to the dark tone] Mm-hm.
- Donatello, Michaelangelo: Uh-oh.
- April O'Neil: What did you do? Did you take classes in insensitivity?
- Casey Jones: I was just trying to break it to you easy.
- April O'Neil: Oh, well you FAILED miserably...
- Casey Jones: Hey, broadzilla, you wouldn't even be standin' here if it weren't for me, okay?
- April O'Neil: Oh, well what do you want? You want a thank you?
- Casey Jones: ...No. It's me who should thank you for that privilege, right?
- April O'Neil: Fine!
- Casey Jones: Yeah.
- April O'Neil: Thank you.
- Casey Jones: No, thank YOU!
- April O'Neil: You're welcome!
- Casey Jones: YOU'RE welcome!
- [they go into two separate rooms and slam the doors]
- Donatello: Gosh, it's kinda like Moonlighting, isn't it?
- [Michaelangelo nods]
- Donatello: Nice night.
- Michaelangelo: Mm-hm. Pizza dude's got thirty seconds.
- Donatello: Mm-hm. Hey Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight? I mean about what it would be like... You know, not having him?
- Michaelangelo: Hmm... Time's up, three bucks off!
- Leonardo: Awesome!
- Michaelangelo: Righteous!
- Donatello: Bossa Nova!
- [Leonardo and Michaelangelo look at Donatello]
- Michaelangelo: Dude, "Bossa Nova"?
- Donatello: Chevy Nova?
- [Leonardo and Michaelangelo groan]
- Donatello: Excellent!
- [Leonardo and Michaelangelo cheer in approval; Raphael walks sullenly behind them]
- [Foot Soldiers broke in through windows]
- Michaelangelo: Boy, and I thought insurance salesmen were pushy!
- April O'Neil: I'd like to invite you all in but I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for some... frozen pizza.
- Michaelangelo: [springs up from the manhole like a jack-in-the-box] Let's go for it!
- Donatello: You said the magic word.
- April O'Neil: You guys eat pizza?
- Michaelangelo, Donatello: Doesn't everybody?
- April O'Neil: Um, yeah... alright.
- Leonardo: [from below] Hey, did she say pizza?
- Donatello: Good thing these guys aren't lumberjacks.
- Michaelangelo: No joke. The only thing safe in the woods... would be the trees!
- [fighting Foot Soldiers]
- Leonardo: One of these guys must know where they're holding Splinter, so don't knock them all out.
- Michaelangelo: [getting beat] I don't think that will be a problem, Leo.
- [Michaelangelo jumps out of nowhere, startling April]
- Michaelangelo: That was close. Whoa, time to switch to decaf, April.
