Quotes

I'm Gonna Git You Sucka

Hammer: How may I help you sir?
Rib Joint Customer: How much for an order of ribs?
Hammer: Two Fifty
Rib Joint Customer: Two Fifty? How many ribs do I get with that?
Hammer: Ahhh, about five
Rib Joint Customer: Five
[does math on his hand]
Rib Joint Customer: So I guess that's about fifty cents a rib, huh?
Hammer: Yeeaaa, about
Rib Joint Customer: K, lemme get one
Hammer: Right on
[yells to the cook]
Hammer: One order
Slammer: One order of ribs
Rib Joint Customer: No, no... no, no... one rib
Hammer: [Holds up finger] One. Rib.
Rib Joint Customer: I sure am hungry
Hammer: Uhhhh, make that... one... rib... to go
Slammer: One rib?
Hammer: One rib...
[sigh]
Hammer: What else?
Rib Joint Customer: You got any soda?
Hammer: [says slowly] One... dolla...
Rib Joint Customer: Aww, come'on now... look out for a brotha... man... come'on... Hey check this out, why don't you let me get a sip for fifteen cents
Hammer: [Pissed] My cups cost more than fifteen cents!
Rib Joint Customer: Alright, F - - the cup, pour it in my hands for a dime
Hammer: [Grabs him by his shirt] Look you greasy hair Jheri curl wearin - - Pay me & get the hell out of my store
Rib Joint Customer: [Takes out change, counts it] ...
[Then, pulls out a HUGE wad of bills]
Rib Joint Customer: ... You got change for a hundred

Flyguy: My bitch better have my money/Through rain, sleet, or snow/My whore better have my money/Not half, not some, but all my cash/'Cause if she don't,/I'm gonna put my foot in her ass.

Jack Spade: Mr. Big is gonna pay. And if I see those little Evans midgets, they ass is mine. I'm - it's payback! It's payback And Lois Mitchell? You know, she snuck me! She snuck me! In fifth grade, you - I was eatin' my Jello when you hit me, baby, but...
Cheryl: Jack, they were just kids!
Jack Spade: Look, a family full of midgets is not considered kids. That's a gang!
Cheryl: Jack, wait a minute! Jack, getting yourself killed is not gonna prove anything!
Jack Spade: It proves I can beat a woman and some midgets.

Man in Audience at the "Pimp of the Year" Competition: [while listening to Fly Guy's "My Bitch Better Have My Money" poem] The man's a Shakespeare!

Jack Spade: Damm it, man, I heard the People's Revolutionary Army was once a thousand strong. Now what happened?
Kalinga: They got government jobs.
Jack Spade: What?
Kalinga: You know that government office on 25th Street?
Jack Spade: Yeah?
Kalinga: We went down to take it over... but they were hiring that day. The brothers walked in with guns. Came out with jobs. The brothers weren't mad anymore. Yes, Whitey is something else.

Kung Fu Joe: So, it's just you 57 cops against KUNG FU JOE? Master of KUNG-FU, KARATE, JIU-JITSU, and all kinds of other shit you ain't never heard of! HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

Jack Spade: You? You're Mr. Big? But I thought you were...
Mr. Big: What? Above playing an exploitation villain? Well, you're wrong! Lots of famous people have done exploitation movies. Uh, Shelley Winters was in, uh...
Flyguy: Cleopatra Jones.
Mr. Big: Uh, Angie Dickinson.
Jack Spade: Uh, Big Bad Mama!
Mr. Big: Big Bad Mama. Jamie Lee Curtis?
Leonard: Uh... Halloween!
Flyguy: Right, right, right!
Mr. Big: And now I'm Mr. Big. And I'm sorry, boys, but there ain't gonna be a sequel to this one.
John Slade: Don't try it, Big.
[Big turns around and gets shot dead. Slade walks in, his clothes tattered and singed]
John Slade: I got you, sucka.

Lt. Baker: So what do you got for me?
Police Officer Charlie: John Doe, between 25 and 30 years of age. Cause of death: looks like O.G.
Lt. Baker: ...Over Gold.

Car door alarm: Your door is ajar... please close the door... please close the door... I SAID CLOSE THE DOOR, DICKHEAD!

Hammer: Check this out. We are businessmen now.
John Slade: Give me a break. You two big motherfuckers in here making red beans and grits is business?
Hammer: Damn, Slade. You sure know how to piss on a man's parade.

Cheryl: Well, after you left, he started getting into drugs and stuff. Things got really bad when he...
Jack Spade: Well, what? Cheryl, come on!
Cheryl: He started wearing gold chains, Jack.
Jack Spade: Oh, God, no!

John Slade: Do you know what I mean, brother?
Newsman: Well, actually, I don't. I didn't grow up around blacks. Now, I grew up in the suburbs. My dad was a lawyer. My mom was a doctor. And all my friends were white. I mean, everybody used to tease me 'cause I didn't speak *jive*. And I couldn't dance to save my life. But, the only step I really knew was like that step that Springsteen does in the "Dancing in the Dark" video. I love Springsteen.

John Slade: I'm talkin' about one last score. A chance to take it to the man, one more time. Are you with me?
Slammer: What the fuck; I ain't killed nobody in a long time.

Ma Bell: [Talking about her son risking his life] I'm so glad you're here. I need you. I really need you.
John Slade: Well, I've been pretty horny myself lately.

Jack Spade: [showing Slade a photo] Do you remember that woman?
John Slade: Yeah, I sure do. That's Bell Brown. We used to call her "hot chocolate." She had the softest eyes. She had these big old round, brown, firm ti... You know, she would do this little trick with her mouth where she would...
Jack Spade: That's my mother, man!
John Slade: She was a good woman, your mother. She was. Absolutely a good woman.

Newsman: Reporting for WBLD news, this is Skip Balins saying, in the immortal words of our negro poet, Don Cornelius, "Peace and soul."

Ma Bell: All right, Mr. Tough Guy. I remember when you wasn't so tough. I remember when you was always calling for your Mama! Like the time when that Lois Mitchell girl was kicking your ass. Up and down, up and down the schoolyard! All I could hear was, "Mama! Mama!" Oh, yeah, and the time when that Evans family, those little midgets, Was chasing you home 'cause you didn't want to give them your lunch money. I could hear your punk ass calling me a half a mile away, "Mama, help me! Mama, help me!" Now you don't need me no more, huh? Fine.

John Slade: The reason you been away so long is 'cause Mr. Big shot your ass through the grease and put your black butt in this joint. At one time, you were the biggest and baddest player out there, man. Remember?
Flyguy: Yeah, I remember. I was *Pimp* of the Year.

Ma Bell: Let's get out of here. Follow me.
Jack Spade: No, you follow me.
Ma Bell: Follow me!
Slammer: I don't care who follows who. If y'all step on my bunion, I'll kill both of you.

Jack Spade: You okay?
Slammer: I'm hit.
Jack Spade: [checks Slammer] Where you... Where you hit at?
Slammer: In my foot.
Jack Spade: Oh, my God!
Slammer: [Slammer's big toe is sticking out of his shoe, swollen and pulsing] They shot me in my bunion, man!

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