Geena Davis credited as playing...
Barbara
- Adam: You can see us without the sheets?
- Lydia: Of course I can see you.
- Adam: Well, how is it you see us and nobody else can?
- Lydia: Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: 'live people ignore the strange and unusual". I myself am strange and unusual.
- Barbara: You look like a regular girl to me.
- [in the waiting room of the afterlife]
- Barbara: Adam, is this what happens when you die?
- Receptionist: This is what happens when *you* die.
- [points at a gaunt man smoking]
- Receptionist: That is what happens when *he* dies.
- [points at a woman cut in half on the sofa reading]
- Receptionist: And that is what happens when *they* die. It's all very personal. And I'll tell you something: if I knew then what I know now...
- [shows her slit wrists]
- Receptionist: ...I wouldn't have had my little accident.
- [the dead people laugh]
- Barbara: [after Jane did not hear Adam call her] She didn't see you, right?
- Adam: Unh-uh.
- Barbara: [reading the handbook] In the book: "Rule Number Two: the living usually won't see the dead".
- Adam: 'Won't' or 'can't'?
- Barbara: It just says 'won't'. God, this book is so stupid. I can't understand anything in it.
- [Adam takes the book and closes it]
- Adam: Barb, honey... we're dead. I don't think we have very much to worry about anymore.
- Adam: Cabin fever, hon?
- Barbara: Well, I can't clean anything properly. The vacuum's out in the garage and we can't leave the house. Why don't they tell us something? I mean, where are all the other dead people in the world? Why is it just you and me?
- Adam: Maybe this is heaven.
- Barbara: In heaven there wouldn't be dust on everything.
- Beetlejuice: I gotta card around here, somewhere. Here, here. Who do I have to kill? Here hold that for me, would ya?
- [hands Barbara a rat]
- Barbara: Whoa! AHH!
- Beetlejuice: There. There ya go.
- Adam: You don't have to kill anybody!
- Beetlejuice: Ah, possession! Good.
- Barbara: [In Betelgeuse's voice] Learn to throw your voice! Fool your friends! Fun at parties!
- Lydia: Are you the guys hiding out in the attic?
- Adam: We're ghosts!
- Lydia: What do you look like under there?
- Adam: Aren't you scared?
- Lydia: I'm not scared of sheets. Are you gross under there? Are you "Night of the Living Dead" under there? Like all bloody veins and pus?
- Adam: Night of the what?
- Lydia: Living Dead. It's a movie.
- Barbara: You know, if I had seen a ghost at your age I would have been scared out of my wits.
- Barbara: What's wrong?
- Lydia: Beetle...
- Barbara: Shhh!
- Lydia: HE told me that if I could let him out, he would take me to the other side to find you.
- Barbara: Lydia, we're dead.
- Lydia: Well, I want to be dead too.
- Barbara: No! Lydia, being dead really doesn't make things any easier.
- Adam: Listen to her on this, Lydia, this is something we know a lot about!
- Beetlejuice: I'm feeling a little, ooh, anxious if you know what I mean. It's been about six hundred years after all. I wonder where a guy, an everyday Joe like myself, can find a little action...
- [a brothel appears]
- Beetlejuice: [dances with joy] Hey, Adam, nice move!
- Barbara: Adam, why did you build that?
- Adam: I didn't!
- [Adam and Barbara appear at Juno's office]
- Juno: The whorehouse was my idea! I want you to get Beetlejuice out of the picture!
- Delia: Charles, I will not stop living and breathing art just because you need to relax. I'm here with you. I will live with you in this hellhole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I will take you with me!
- Charles: Yeah. Well, you know, maybe the house could use a little remodeling. But why don't you just leave this room alone, okay?
- Delia: Okay.
- Barbara: [to Adam as Delia and Otho leave] I'm gonna get her.
- Barbara: What about that guy in the flyer, you know Betel...
- Juno: Shhh! Don't even say his name! You don't want his help!
- Adam: We might.
- Juno: No, you don't! He does not work well with others.
- Barbara: What do you mean?
- Juno: I didn't want to bring it up, but rather than have you stumble on to it and make another mistake, I'll tell you. He was my assistant, but he was a troublemaker. Went out on his own as a freelance bio-exorcist. Claimed he could get rid of the living. Got into more trouble. In fact, I believe he's been sleazing around your cemetery lately. The only way he can be brought back is by calling his name three times. But I strongly suggest you get the Deetzes out by yourselves.
- Lydia: You're not gross. Why are you wearing sheets?
- Barbara: We're Practicing.
- Adam: You can see us without the sheets.
- Lydia: [seriously] Of course I can see you.
- Adam: Well, how else if you see us and nobody else can?
- Lydia: Well I read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says, 'Live people ignore the strange and unusual.' I myself am strange and unusual.
- Barbara: You like a regular girl to me.
- Adam: You read our book?
- Lydia: Yeah.
- Adam: You could follow it?
- Lydia: Yeah. Why are you guys creeping around in Delia's bedroom?
- Adam: Well, we were trying to scare your mother.
- Lydia: Stepmother.
- Lydia: [continues] Anyway, you can't scare her. She's sleeping with Prince Valium tonight.
