Michael J. Nelson credited as playing...
Mike Nelson • Observer • Torgo • Dr. Peanut • Hugh Beaumont • Buddy the Space Child • Glen Manning • Holo-clown • Jack Perkins • Michael Feinstein • Abe Vigoda • Aunt Catherine Wheel • Brad Roberts • Bruce • Custodian of the Seventh Galaxy from the Planet Ziffalodian • Deep 13 Computer • Eddie Nelson • Gamera • Goosio • Imperialistic Alien 1 • Isaac Asimov Literary Doomsday Device • J.C. • Jeff Smith • John Banner • Kenny • Larry Buchanan • Lembach • Mean Mike • Mega-Weapon • Morrissey • Mothra • Officer Mike • Sorri Andropoli • Steve Reeves • Toblerone • Tony Travis • Torgo the White • Valeria • Virtual Comedy Heckler • Winky
- Mike Nelson: [about a man who just had his arm ripped off] And ironically he collapses into an arm chair
- Mike Nelson: You know, it's possible they're making an electric Santa Claus.
- Tom Servo: At this point, they could be doing anything.
- Mike Nelson: The movie that dares to graphically depict seeing peacocks and sometimes NOT seeing peacocks.
- [reading credits]
- Mike Nelson: Leon Leon?
- Crow: He had the laziest, most unimaginative parents in the WORLD.
- Crow: You know Mike, this Ryder guy's like you.
- Mike Nelson: Huh.
- Crow: No seriously, take away his personality and attractiveness to women and it's you.
- Mike Nelson: Oh, thank you...
- Doomsday Satellite: Welcome! You have passed through the first three thresholds of the Isaac Asimov Literary Satellite! Enter the disarm code or enjoy the consequences. Remember, this and all literary works of the last century are the sole property of Isaac Asimov and his many affiliates. Thank you for intruding, you have five seconds.
- Crow T. Robot: Quick Joel, cut EVERY wire!
- Joel: It's not gonna work, it needs an access code.
- Tom Servo: Try ego!
- Crow T. Robot: Sideburns!
- Joel: I'll try "I, Robot."
- Doomsday Satellite: [buzz] I'm sorry, the correct entry would have been "copyright" you now have six nanoseconds to realize the consequences.
- Joel, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot: [there is a cloud of smoke, when it clears Joel and the bots are babbling and have sideburns - they stop] Huh?
- Joel: This cockamamie satellite's turned us all into duplicate Isaac Asimovs!
- Crow T. Robot: Hey, do you think it's a conspiracy?
- Tom Servo: Oh, no, I covered the conspiracy topic in my ten-volume history of assassinations and coups!
- Joel: This is TERRIBLE guys.
- Crow T. Robot: Oh, I don't know, at least now I'll have something to write about. You know, I've been thinking about annotating the Manhattan phone directory.
- Tom Servo: Oh, look, it's Commercial Sign. That'll fit nicely into my volume on the effects of advertising on the human psyche.
- Mike Nelson: You know guys, the whole situation, being stuck up here in space, forced to watched cheesy movies, interacting with other life forms... it kinda bites.
- Crow T. Robot: You're starting to catch on, Kimosabe.
