Barrie Ingham credited as playing...
Basil • Bartholomew
- Ratigan: I have the power!
- Robot Queen: Of course you do.
- Ratigan: I am supreme!
- Robot Queen: Only you.
- Ratigan: This is my kingdom!
- [maniacal laugh]
- Ratigan: That is, of course, with your highness' permission.
- [the robot is idle; Ratigan slaps it to start it again]
- Robot Queen: Most assuredly... you insidious fiend.
- Ratigan: What?
- Robot Queen: You're not my royal consort!
- Ratigan: [to crowd] Such a sense of humor.
- Robot Queen: You're a cheap fraud & impostor!
- Ratigan: [under his breath] Flaversham!
- Basil: [operating the robot] A corrupt, vicious, demented, lowlife scoundrel. There's no evil scheme you wouldn't concoct.
- [the robot goes crazy and breaks apart]
- Robot Queen: No depravity you wouldn't commit. You, Professor, are none other than a foul stenchus rodentus, commonly known as a...
- Ratigan: Don't say it!
- Basil: [bursting out into the palace] ... Sewer rat!
- Ratigan: AAAARRRRGH!
- Basil: Arrest that fiend!
- Olivia Flaversham: Now will you *please* listen to me? My daddy's gone, and I'm all alone.
- Basil of Baker Street: [stops playing violin] Young lady, this is a most inopportune time.
- [resumes playing]
- Basil of Baker Street: Surely your mother knows where he is.
- Olivia Flaversham: I... I don't *have* a mother.
- Basil of Baker Street: [stops playing with a screech] Well, um... then perhaps... See here! I... simply have no time for lost fathers.
- Olivia Flaversham: I *didn't* lose him! He was taken, by a bat!
- Basil of Baker Street: Did you say, "bat"?
- Olivia Flaversham: Y-Yes.
- Basil of Baker Street: Did he have a crippled wing?
- Olivia Flaversham: I don't know, but he had a peg leg!
- Basil of Baker Street: Ha!
- Dr. David Q. Dawson: I say, do you know him?
- Basil of Baker Street: *Know* him? That bat, one Fidget by name, is in the employ of the very fiend who was the target of my experiment! The *horror* of my every waking moment! The nefarious Professor Ratigan!
- [lightning flashes, illuminating a photo of Ratigan atop the fireplace]
- Dr. David Q. Dawson: R... Ratigan?
- Basil of Baker Street: He's a *genius*, Dawson. A genius twisted for evil, the Napoleon of crime!
- [lightning flashes again]
- Dr. David Q. Dawson: As bad as all that, eh?
- Basil of Baker Street: Worse! For *years* I've tried to capture him and I've come close, so very close, but each time, he's*narrowly* evaded my grasp.
- [lightning flashes once more]
- Basil of Baker Street: Not a corner of London's safe while Ratigan's at large. There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct, no depravity he wouldn't commit. Who knows what dastardly scheme that villain may be plotting even as we speak.
- Basil: Ratigan, no one can have a higher opinion of you than I have, and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- Basil: [concerning Professor Ratigan] There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct! No depravity he wouldn't commit.
- Dr. Dawson: Dash it all, Basil! The Queen's in danger, Olivia's counting on us, we're about to be horribly "splatted" and all you can do is lie there feeling sorry for yourself when I know you can save us. But if you've given up, then why don't we just set it off now and be done with it?
- Basil: [feebly] He he. "Set it off now." Set if off... now?
- [triumphantly]
- Basil: Ha ha! Yes! We'll set the trap off now!
- Dr. Dawson: How the deuce did you know I was a doctor?
- Basil: A surgeon to be exact. Just returned from military duty in Afghanistan. Am I right?
- Dr. Dawson: Why, ha, ha, yes. Major David Q. Dawson. But how could you possibly...?
- Basil: Quite simple, really. You've sewn your torn cuff together with a Lambert stich, which, of course, only a surgeon uses. And the thread is a unique form of cat-gut, easily distinguished by its peculiar pungency, found only in the Afghan provinces.
- Dr. Dawson: Amazing!
- Basil: Actually, it's elementary, my dear Dawson.
- Dr. Dawson: Well, it's time I was on my way too.
- Basil: But... umm... but I thought...
- Dr. Dawson: Well, the case is over, and perhaps... well perhaps it's best I found my own living quarters.
- Basil: But...
- [Knock on door]
- Basil: Oh, now who could that be?
- [Dawson opens door; a lady mouse is standing there]
- Lady Mouse: Is this the home of the famous Basil of Baker Street?
- Dr. Dawson: Indeed it is, miss. You look as if you're in some kind of trouble.
- Lady Mouse: Oh, I am. I am.
- Dr. Dawson: Then you have come to precisely the right place.
- Basil: Ah, allow me to introduce my trusted associate Dr. Dawson, with whom I do all of my cases. Isn't that right, doctor?
- Dr. Dawson: Oh? Why, yes. By all means.
- Basil: As you can see, Dawson, this young lady is from the Hampstead district, and is troubled about the mysterious disappearance of an emerald ring in the third finger of her right hand. Now, tell me the story, and pray, be precise.
- Dr. Dawson: [in awe] To be thanked by the Queen herself! Oh, how very thrilling, eh, Basil?
- Basil: [places Ratigan's bell on the mantle as a memory of this case] All in a day's work, Doctor.
- Olivia Flaversham: Oh Dr. Dawson, you were wonderful!
- [Dawson chuckles bashfully]
- Hiram Flaversham: Indeed.
- [he looks at his pocketwatch and notices the time]
- Hiram Flaversham: Oh my, we're late to catch our train. Come along, Olivia.
- Olivia Flaversham: Yes, Father.
- [Olivia embraces the mouse who not only saved both her life, and her father's, but also defeated the most wicked, and diabolical enemy of Mousedom and all of England]
- Olivia Flaversham: Goodbye, Basil.
- [sniffles]
- Olivia Flaversham: I... I'll never forget you.
- Basil: [leans down and puts his hands on her shoulders and smiles] Nor I you, Miss...
- [he can't help but repeat this running gag one last time...]
- Basil: Miss Flangerhanger.
- [Olivia stares for a moment, then shakes her head, a smile on her face]
- Dr. Dawson: [chuckles] Whatever.
- Olivia Flaversham: Goodbye, Dr. Dawson.
- Dr. Dawson: Goodbye, my dear.
- Olivia Flaversham: [Olivia walks over to the front door, and turns again and whispers] Goodbye.
- [she leaves]
- Basil: Well, um...
- [sniffles]
- Basil: Not a bad little girl, actually.
- Dr. Dawson: Not at all.
- [henchmen cheer as Ratigan reviews his illustrious career]
- Ratigan: Thank you, thank you. But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street!
- Henchmen: Boo!
- Ratigan: For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans, and I haven't had a moment's peace of mind.
- Henchmen: Aaw...
- Bartholomew: [cries]
- Ratigan: But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!
- Henchmen: [singing] Oh Ratigan, oh Ratigan / You're tops, and that's that / To Ratigan, to Ratigan...
- Bartholomew: To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! Hic!
- [Ratigan does spit take; the henchmen turn in terror]
- Ratigan: What was that?
- Bartholomew: Hic!
- Ratigan: What did you call me?
- Henchmen: Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor!
- Henchman #2: It... it was just a slip of the tongue.
- Ratigan: I am not a rat!
- Henceman #3: Course you're not.
- Thug Guard: You're a mouse.
- Henchman #2: Yeah, a-a big mouse.
- Ratigan: Silence!
- Basil: Now, Toby, sit!
- [Toby doesn't sit]
- Basil: [sternly] Toby... sit!
- Olivia Flaversham: Sit, Toby!
- [Toby sits]
- Basil: Good boy...
- Basil: [Regarding Fidget's note] Offhand I can deduce very little, Only that the words are written with a broad-tip quill pen that has spattered, twice; that the paper is of native Mongolia manufacture, no watermark; and has
- [smacks his lips against the paper]
- Basil: been gummed, if I'm very much in error...
- [smells paper]
- Basil: ...by a bat who has been drinking Rodent's Delight, a cheap brandy served only in the seediests pubs.
- Dr. Dawson: Hmm. Amazing.
- Basil: Oh, not really, doctor. We still don't know where it came from. Perhaps a closer inspection will tell us something.
- [Looks at note under microscope]
- Basil: Coal dust, clearly of the type used in sewer lamps.
- [Takes note and sets it on fire]
- Dr. Dawson: Basil!
- Basil: Shh. Don't speak.
- [He grinds the ashes in a crucible and pours them into a beaker]
- Basil: Excuse me, Doctor.
- [Takes beaker and a bottle of liquid]
- Basil: Steady hand...
- [pours a drop into beaker and sets it at the other end of a pipe; he boils a liquid on the other end, watching as it goes through the pipe]
- Basil: Come on, come on. Good, bad, bad, good. Come on, come on, come on.
- [Liquid finally reaches beaker; chemical explodes]
- Basil: Aha! We've done it, old fellow! This chemical reaction could only be triggered by the paper's extreme saturation with distilation of sodium chloride.
- Dr. Dawson: Salt water? Great Scott.
- Basil: It proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, this note came from the riverfront area.
- [Pins a map of the river on the wall]
- Dr. Dawson: Now, steady on, Basil...
- Basil: No, it's elementary, Dawson. We simply look for a seedy pub at the only spot...
- [Pins dart on map]
- Basil: ...where the sewer connects with the riverfront.
- Dr. Dawson: Scoundrel's quite gone.
- Basil: But not for long, Miss Flamhammer!
- Olivia Flaversham: Flaversham!
- Basil: Whatever.
- Basil: Dawson, these drinks have been... drugged!
- [Dawson has drunken his mug of drugged beer]
- Dr. Dawson: [drunkenly] Has a rather nice bite to it... Jolly good, lady! Jolly good!
- Basil: Get a hold of yourself, Dawson!
- Dr. Dawson: Oh... bravo! Bravo!
- Olivia Flaversham: I'm coming too!
- Basil: What? Certainly not! This is no business for children.
- Olivia Flaversham: Are we going to take a cab?
- Basil: [groans] My dear, I don't think you understand - it will be quite dangerous!
- [he sits on his violin, breaking it in two]
- Basil: Why, you...! Look at...!
- [restraining himself]
- Basil: Young lady... you are most definitely NOT accompanying us! And that is FINAL!
- [cut to next scene of Olivia with Basil]
- Basil: And not a word out of you.
- Bar Maid: What'll you have?
- Dr. Dawson: I'll have a dry sherry, with, oh, perhaps a twist of...
- Basil: Two pints for me and my shipmate. Oh, by the way. We just got into port. We're looking for an old friend of mine. Maybe you know him. Goes by the name... of Ratigan!
- [Everyone at the bar gasps and turn to Basil]
- Bar Maid: I... never heard of him.
