Paul Reubens: Pee-wee Herman

Pee-wee's Big Adventure

Pee-wee Herman

Pee-wee: There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand.
Dottie: I don't understand.
Pee-wee: You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

[Pee-wee has been picked up by a trucker]
Pee-wee: Some night, huh?
Large Marge: On this very night, ten years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst accident I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building...
[cut to a few minutes later]
Large Marge: And when they finally pulled the driver's body from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...!
[Turns to Pee-wee and makes grotesque face]
Pee-wee: Aaaaaahh!
Large Marge: Yes, Sir! The worst accident I ever seen.

Simone: I know you're right, Pee-wee, but...
Pee-wee: But what? Everyone I know has a big "But...? C'mon, Simone, let's talk about *your* big "But".

Pee-wee: This box contains over 217 bits and pieces of information, evidence. Exhibit A: A photograph of the victims, my bike and me.
[Speck growls]
Pee-wee: Exhibit B: Another photograph. What's missing from this picture? It's just me... WITHOUT MY BIKE!
[Amazing Larry whispers something to Mario]
Pee-wee: Is this something you can share with the rest of us Amazing Larry?
Amazing Larry: Uh... no.
Pee-wee: Exhibit C: The horn I was picking up at Chuck's Bikeorama when my bike was actually stolen!
[Honks the horn loudly scaring everyone]
Pee-wee: Exhibit D: Jimmy what is this? Too late! Chip!
Chip: It looks like a pen.
Pee-wee: Exactly! I bought this pen exactly one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I DON'T KNOW!

Pee-wee: I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!
Francis: Then you're crazy!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You're a nerd!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Francis: You're an idiot!
Pee-wee: I know you are but what am I?
Pee-wee, Francis: I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I? Pee-wee: Infinity!
Francis: No, I'm not.
Pee-wee, Francis: You are! No way! Knock it off! Cut it out!
Francis: Shut up, Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: Why don't you make me?
Francis: Why don't you make me?
Pee-wee: Because. I don't make monkeys, I just train 'em.
Francis: Pee-wee, listen to reason.
[Pee-Wee cuffs his hand around his ear in a listening motion]
Francis: Come on!
Pee-wee: Shhhh! I'm listening to reason.
Francis: Pee-wee!
Pee-wee: That's my name, don't wear it out.
Francis: Remember the first time I saw your bike? You came riding past my house and I came running out to tell you how much I liked it even way back then?
Pee-wee: I love that story.
[jumps on bike and pedals away]
Francis: You'll be sorry, Pee-wee Herman!

Simone: Do you have any dreams?
Pee-wee: Yeah, I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and this snake wearing a vest...

[Pee-wee is offering a $10,000 reward to whoever finds his bike]
Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!

Pee-wee: Is this something you'd like to share with the rest of us, Amazing Larry?

Madame Ruby: For twenty dollars I can tell you a lot of things. For thirty dollars I can tell you more. And for fifty dollars I can tell you *everything*.
Pee-wee: Tell me why I'm here first.
Madame Ruby: You're here because you... want something!