- Allan: [suffering nosebleed attempting to have sex with Linda] I'm probably the only man in the history of sex who ever bled when he lost his virginity!
- Man with Video Tapes: [with nervous anticipation] Excuse me. Do these videotapes have overweight Vietnamese lesbians in them?
- Angelo: No, they don't.
- [the man angrily slams the videotapes on the counter before storming out of the store]
- Brian: [to Allan about editing his documentary to make it more cheesy] Look, this is cable TV, Channel thirty-nine. Your audience has lower standards. I know: he told me.
- [begins a mock laugh]
