Joyce DeWitt credited as playing...
Janet Wood
- Jack Tripper: It's time to toast the bride and groom. To Gloria and Larry, happy days!
- Janet Wood Dawson: Good times!
- Chrissy: Little House on the Prairie!
- Diane McMillan: Janet, do you know what I do for a living?
- Janet Wood Dawson: Of course I do! It's right here on your card in black and white. Diane McMillan, The Rapist!
- Jack Tripper: That's therapist.
- Janet's Father: She always did have trouble with her reading.
- Janet Wood Dawson: Chrissy, your dad is a minister, what does he usually say to couples in trouble?
- Chrissy: He tells them to keep the baby.
- Jack Tripper: [a woman comes to the door and mistakenly tells the girls that Jack got her pregnant. Through miscommunication, Jack believes his girlfriend is pregnant] Good news girls! We're getting married!
- Chrissy: You rotten rat!
- Jack Tripper: [bewildered] Rotten rat? Janet, why did she call me a rat?
- Janet Wood Dawson: Because you're a pig!
- Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, no, no, no, no. Don't tell anybody you're a chef, okay?
- Jack Tripper: Okay, mum's the word.
- Janet Wood Dawson: Well, it's not that there's anything wrong with what you do, Jack. It's just that... everybody here looks so important and we want to make a good impression. Well, you understand, don't you?
- Jack Tripper: *Of course*, pumpkin.
- Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, thanks.
- Jack Tripper: You're ashamed of me!
- Terri: I just felt sorry for you!
- Jack Tripper: Sorry for me? Why would anybody feel sorry for me?
- Janet Wood Dawson: Oh, lots of reasons.
- Jack Tripper: Is something burning?
- Janet Wood Dawson: Oh NO! I left my underwear in the oven.
- Chrissy: Too bad hot pants are not in style.
- Chrissy: You know, if women ran the world there'd be none of these stupid wars!
- Janet Wood Dawson: Yeah!
- Stanley Roper: Yeah, all the countries would nag each other to death!
