- Adam Miller: There isn't a room in town or a bed in the dorm. Why, school's so jammed this year they're hanging from the rafters like bats.
- Dean Parker: I want a head's up job. Now, the Board's put me on notice. No more sleep-ins. No more demonstrations. You know what that means to you?
- Mort Terwilliger: Yeah. You fudge it up, then I get busted.
- Lee Sullivan: If anything keeps me from getting this permit, why, well, it will be back to men's underwear.
- Lee Sullivan: Look, I'm turning this into a girls guest house. Now, I have to get an off-campus housing permit from the college. I can't do that with boys and girls living in the same house.
- Adam Miller: Why not? You take one half and we'll take the other.
- Lee Sullivan: Thanks. But, no thanks.
- Themselves: And now, here's Sonny and Cher.
- Sonny Bono, Cher: [singing] It's gonna rain outside, I can tell by the clouds in the sky, Woah-woah
- Sonny Bono: You used to come, And see me baby all the time, People see you walking down the street, They gotta say you were mine, We used to love each other baby, Ah, that's all, Well, I can still remember, Your skin so soft
- Sonny Bono, Cher: It's gonna rain outside...
- Vern Thompkins: Everybody thinks I'm a little dingy. Hey, I got a lot more stuff in the rumpus room. Would you like to see it?
- Toby Carr: Great!
- Toby Carr: Hey, aren't those The Astronauts? Well, sit down, sit down. Stay.
- Marsie Lowell: Yeah.
- Themselves: [singing] Pink shoes, Red dress, Long black stockings, Oh, yes, yes, yes, We're going out, While the stars are bright, We're going to, Rock the world, tonight, Two arms, Two lips, She's going to thrill me, To my fingertips...
- Shep Kirby: Cindy Malone, take one. Go, go, girl!
- Cindy Malone: [singing] Run, Run away from him, Before you lose your wa-ay, Run, Run away from him, You heard what people say...
- Adam Miller: [Mr. Terwilliger, college housing permit inspector, picks up a black laced bra] What's that?
- Mort Terwilliger: It ain't no hammock. Now, whose got this room? I want his name.
- Adam Miller: Several guys moved in today. I'm not sure which took which.
- Mort Terwilliger: [inspects bra] He's a 36-C. That oughta make him stand out in your mind.
- Shep Kirby: [singing] I'm not unhappy, That's how it goes, Sometimes you find, A rose ain't a rose, I'm here to tell you, I found out she lied, That the hair of that yellow-haired woman was dyed, And her hair hung down, And it hunged down her back, And my heart went tick, Ticky-ticky-tack...
- Shep Kirby: [pouring a martini] I was just having my lunch. Would you care to join me?
- Lee Sullivan: Uh, no thank you.
- Shep Kirby: I'm on a diet. No olives.
- Shep Kirby: Dean - Parker?
- Dean Parker: Second Lieutenant Parker.
- Shep Kirby: I didn't know you were in the Air Force.
- Dean Parker: I was in the Reserves. Those chickens - they pulled me back in so they could bust me from Colonel.
- Dean Parker: We'll surprise them at the crack of dawn tomorrow. Commando style. And if they're all sleeping in there, we'll lower the boom.
- Jim Bench: What's your major? Drama?
- Marsie Lowell: Home Economics.
- Jim Bench: You in a kitchen?
- Marsie Lowell: What's the matter with that? I love to cook.
- Jim Bench: We were made for each other, doll. I love to eat.
- Adam Miller: [singing] There's a house on the beach, A great place for a party, In the house on the beach, We'll go all night long! They'll be music playin', And bodies swayin', And not another house in site, It's only two steps down to the nearest wave, and surf's up every night!
- Themselves: [singing] Yeah, Little Speedy Gonzalez, You might as well admit it, You just can't win, By the time you see him comin', He's already been...
