Gig Young credited as playing...
Richard Bramwell
- Richard Bramwell: Well you know the mentality of that Board, they're hooked on the idea of corporate image; solid American gentry, family respectability. For their top executives there are not Ten Commandments, only one: thou shalt be married - happily and respectably married...
- Carter Harrison: ...Whether you like it or not
- Richard Bramwell: That's right!
- Carter Harrison: Well I've done just fine, these past seven years, happily and respectably, separated. And I've loved every minute of it
- Richard Bramwell: Yeah, well, that's all gonna change. From now on you're going to have a new look. No more gay married bachelor, you've got to be Carter Harrison, family man
- Carter Harrison: You are out of your skull!
- Richard Bramwell: Carter, when that Board meets in Boston, you can be Yankee Doodle riding to town on a solid gold pony... income in six figures, a private plane, your own yacht, a house in Palm Beach - it's yours. All you need to do is show up in Boston, the week after next with one reasonably respectable wife
- Carter Harrison: Forget it!
- Richard Bramwell: What did you, uh, go around marrying gorgeous fruitcakes for in the first place?
- Carter Harrison: I don't know. It was a cold night. She had an electric blanket.
- Carter Harrison: You don't know what kind of a nut I was married to.
- Richard Bramwell: No, no, I don't. What kind of a nut was she?
- Carter Harrison: She was a half Italian fruitcake, that's what she was.
- Richard Bramwell: Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. What was the other half?
- Carter Harrison: Gorgeous.
- Richard Bramwell: Look, if you wanna commit suicide, use my razor. It's electric, but you can hang yourself on the cord.
- Richard Bramwell: You know, for a fellow who's only going to, uh, discuss his divorce with a half-Italian fruitcake in over-tight blue jeans, you're looking and smelling awfully pretty.
- Carter Harrison: Evening's young. Who knows? I might get lucky later.
- Richard Bramwell: [Impersonating a U.S. Embassy security officer, brings Carter some protective gear for the dangerous mission he's going on] Oh, and uh, finally, your uh, your uh, LRP
- [He hands Carter a large pill]
- Carter Harrison: What?
- Richard Bramwell: A Last Resort Pill.
- Carter Harrison: Last Resort Pill?
- Richard Bramwell: Yes - they're marvelous. Absolutely reliable. Quicker than cyanide and only a teensy bit more painful.
- Carter Harrison: Do I take it with water?
- Richard Bramwell: Oh, no. Never take the water out there - deadly, deadly.
- Richard Bramwell: Boy, you really did marry a nut.
- Carter Harrison: A nut? I married a whole plantation.
- Carter Harrison: She'd never leave with me - not with the Lady Godiva thing. She'd suspect something immediately. And that's precisely what that bearded vulture's waiting for.
- Richard Bramwell: She wears a beard?
- Carter Harrison: No, she doesn't wear a beard. I have other enemies in this thing.
- Julius L. Stevens: It's not his father, you idiot. It's hers.
- Richard Bramwell: I know, but they were very close.
- Julius L. Stevens: [They see Toni in her flesh suit and long blond wig posing as Lady Godiva, and Carter pulling her off her horse] What in the world is she doing here? I thought her father was dying.
- Richard Bramwell: She goes berserk with sorrow.
- Julius L. Stevens: Did she say poison darts?
- Richard Bramwell: An explorer, J.L. One of those crazy Italians. Climb anything.
- Richard Bramwell: [Impersonating a U.S. embassy security officer] Oh, uh, and uh, speaking of shots. You'll receive your inoculations en route - malaria, diphtheria, blackwater fever, leprosy and plague.
- Richard Bramwell: Are you sure it's me you want?
- Harry Jones: [Posing as a British Intelligence agent] Then I'm not here at all. So, we should level, right?
- Richard Bramwell: Look Carter, politics makes strange bedfellows. Why not big business? Make a deal.
- Carter Harrison: President of the International Branch...
- Richard Bramwell: I like the way you turned it down.
- Carter Harrison: Tenth biggest corporation in America.
- Richard Bramwell: What about your wife?
- Carter Harrison: 200,000 bucks a year.
- Richard Bramwell: Your wife?
- Carter Harrison: A 1000 a month expenses, private plane.
- Richard Bramwell: Your wife?
- Carter Harrison: Company... My what?
- Richard Bramwell: Your wife! That fruitcake you wouldn't live with if they offered you the Presidency.
- Carter Harrison: Oh, yeah. Her.
- Richard Bramwell: Yeah, her.
- Carter Harrison: Don't worry about it. Think I'm gonna let that kook stand in my way?
- Richard Bramwell: Oh, soldier, you better put your pants on before the general changes his mind. Not that you don't have pretty legs but...
- Carter Harrison: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
