Gig Young credited as playing...
Roger
- Philip Shayne: Why would she go away with someone like that?
- Roger: Who knows? He's a man and she's a woman.
- Philip Shayne: That's the most dangerous combination to turn loose in a motel.
- [Roger enters Philip's office in rags]
- Philip Shayne: What happened?
- Roger: I was knocked down two flights of stairs and then viciously attacked by a dog in a taxi. This has been the most satisfying day of my life.
- Cathy Timberlake: How would you feel? Here I am, he practically runs me down and then drives right away! And doesn't have the decency to apologise himself. Furthermore I have a job interview and have to go like this. He doesn't care.
- Roger: Ohhh...
- Cathy Timberlake: You know what I'd like to do?
- Roger: Throw the money in his face?
- Cathy Timberlake: Exactly! I'd like to throw that money right in his face.
- Roger: Would you?
- Cathy Timberlake: Yes, I would.
- Roger: I've waited seven years for this moment. You come with me!
- Roger: It upsets you, doesn't it? The puppet master ran across a puppet who won't perform, she cuts all his strings. When she sent this back she become a symbol of hope to all of us who sold out for that touch of mink.
- Philip Shayne: Roger!
- Roger: You give us good salaries, paid vacations, medical insurance, old age pensions. You take away our problems and act like you've done us a favor. Well, you haven't. We enjoyed our problems and someday there's going to be an uprising and the masses will regain the misery they're entitled to!
- Philip Shayne: Neurotics of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your psychiatrist! Roger, I flew 800 miles to a tropical paradise to drink hot milk and butter. I spent half the night playing gin rummy with a bookie from Detroit. It was not a memorable evening. Now, if you're not out of here in five seconds, I'll raise your salary.
- Roger: You're just sadistic enough to do that.
- Philip Shayne: And if Miss Timberlake is your symbol of hope, I suggest you get together with her. You, she, and Dr Gruber will make a lovely couple.
- Roger: Good morning, good morning. It's a great day out.
- Philip Shayne: God, you're very happy, Roger. You'd better check that with Dr. Gruber, it might be something serious.
- Roger: I had a wonderful night's rest. You know the trouble I have sleeping? Well, I've solved it. Just before you go to bed you put three tranquilizers in a jigger of brandy and you drink it. You still can't sleep but you're so relaxed that you don't worry about it. It was exhilarating.
- Philip Shayne: Fancy that. And some people just go to sleep and never know what they're missing.
- Philip Shayne: That's what I like about you, Roger. No matter what calamity befalls your fellow man you're still able to laugh about it.
- Cathy Timberlake: There are few other things I'd do too if I weren't a lady.
- Roger: This is no time to think of sex.
- Roger: The minute I saw her, I knew this was no ordinary woman.
- Philip Shayne: She proved that all right.
- Roger: Something about her: purity, innocence, honor.
- Philip Shayne: All virtues that drive a man to drink.
- Roger: It's a victory for the little people. How often does the sparrow down the hawk? The Ace! The Baron von Richthofen of the boudoir shot down over Bermuda.
- Philip Shayne: Well, it had to happen sooner or later.
- Roger: I kept thinking what would I have done if I were in her shoes. Unemployed, no money. This very wealthy man sees me walking down the street, he's terribly attracted to me. Has me brought up to his office. I have to admit he's quite charming. After the usual preliminaries - dinner and dancing - he invites me to Bermuda.
- Doctor Gruber: Just like that?
- Roger: This is a forceful, dynamic man, accustomed to getting his own way. Given a complete wardrobe, including a mink coat, flown to Bermuda, taken to the best suite. This man offers everything: excitement, comfort, security. Believe me, Doc, it's not easy to turn down an offer like that.
- Doctor Gruber: No, it's not.
- Roger: Doc, an exciting thing happened. It gives me a whole new outlook. I think I'm about to make a breakthrough. I made a great discovery. Philip Shayne is just a man! It took a woman to prove it.
- Doctor Gruber: [on the phone] Things worked out - well in Bermuda?
- Roger: Doc, there's been a fantastic development! For the first time he's mentioned marriage.
- Doctor Gruber: And how do you feel about this?
- Roger: Well, naturally, I'm delighted. He just left me and I tell you this is the real thing.
- Doctor Gruber: I see. Roger, I'll be away for a while. I think I'd better go back to Vienna for a refresher course.
- Cathy Timberlake: Look, he doesn't love me. He just feels sorry for me.
- Roger: Doesn't love you? He's compared you to the plague.
- Connie Emerson: What else could it be?
- Cathy Timberlake: Well, he wants me to marry another man.
- Roger: Does he? I drew up a list of 20 eligible bachelors and he turned them all down. And for what reasons?
- [pulls out a list]
- Roger: This one had a low hairline. And this one graduated from Purdue.
- [showing Connie]
- Roger: He even turned him down.
- Connie Emerson: Rock Hudson?
- Philip Shayne: If Dr. Freud had ever been exposed to this girl, he'd have burned his couch and opened a delicatessen.
- Roger: Yes.
- Philip Shayne: Freud's Famous Frankfurters.
