Terry-Thomas credited as playing...
Major Rayne
- Major Albert Rayne: I'm interested in a Fence.
- Smoker at Shanghai Harry's: Buyin' or sellin'?
- Major Albert Rayne: Selling, naturally.
- Smoker at Shanghai Harry's: You're wasting your time, mate. Nobody round here's got a garden.
- Elizabeth Pinkie Pinkerton: Oh! I'm so thrilled to be in the shock troops again!
- Major Albert Rayne: Who's going to get the shock, I wonder?
- Major Albert Rayne: [ogling Lily as she walks away] Why does she walk like that?
- Nanette Parry: [aside] Can't think.
- Dame Beatrice Appleby: Red Group to HQ. Bongo. Fox out of cover. Four ten.
- Major Albert Rayne: Ten-four, not four-ten!
- Major Albert Rayne: What regiment were you in?
- Inspector Pape: I'm in the Police. I have always been in the Police!
- Major Albert Rayne: What, even during the War?
- Nanette Parry: I thought you were in the Mobile Bath Unit
- Major Albert Rayne: We did a perfectly splendid job! We kept the Army clean.
- Nanette Parry: Oh, I know. You won the War with soap and water.
- Major Albert Rayne: Where did you get that patch?
- Dame Beatrice Appleby: [sporting a ruffled eye patch] Out of a cracker.
- Major Albert Rayne: Crackers is the word!
- Elizabeth Pinkie Pinkerton: I don't want to do anymore trailing after dark in Piccadilly.
- Major Albert Rayne: Whyever not?
- Elizabeth Pinkie Pinkerton: I've had some unpleasant experiences.
- Nanette Parry: Don't suck up to us! You're yellow, a coward and a deserter!
- Major Albert Rayne: What else could I do? It's laid down in Army orders. When all is lost, an OC saves himself. Honestly! It's not like the Navy.
- Major Albert Rayne: There is one aspect of our activities which has been neglected. And that is our use of SA.
- Nanette Parry: Sex Appeal?
- Major Albert Rayne: Certainly not! Spontaneous action. Targets of fleeting opportunity.
- Major Albert Rayne: Where the dickens will we find a police whistle at this hour?
- Elizabeth Pinkie Pinkerton: [TOOTS WHISTLE] I keep it in case of night intruders.
- Major Albert Rayne: Intruders? Some hope.
- Dame Beatrice Appleby: Snake to HQ. Five good fish. Ten four.
- Major Albert Rayne: Roger. Stand by to synchronize watches.
- Nanette Parry: Bongo.
- Major Albert Rayne: Bongo. Return to base via yellow route and rendezvous soonest.
- Elizabeth Pinkie Pinkerton: It's the brute who attacked me in the park! He came up behind me and pounced!
- Inspector Pape: I have never pounced on anyone. Except in the course of duty.
- Major Albert Rayne: Do you call that duty? Huh!
- Major Albert Rayne: You put up a rotten show this afternoon Pinkerton, but it's largely my fault for thinking you'd be able to do it in the first place, so come and have some fizz.
