James Millhollin credited as playing...
Maj. Royal B. Demming (psychiatrist)
- Maj. Demming: Do you get along all right with your mother?
- Will Stockdale: No, sir, I can't hardly say that I do...
- Maj. Demming: Oh, I see. She's very strict with you; she's always hovering over you, hmm?
- Will Stockdale: No, sir, just the opposite.
- Maj. Demming: Oh, she's never there?
- Will Stockdale: That's right.
- Maj. Demming: And you, uh, you resent this neglect, don't you?
- Will Stockdale: Well, no, sir. I don't resent nothin'.
- Maj. Demming: Ah, come now, son. Now don't be bashful - that's a common situation. Does, uh, she beat you?
- Will Stockdale: Naw!
- Maj. Demming: [chuckles] Oh, so defensive. Well, it's not easy to talk about your mother, is it?
- Will Stockdale: No sir, see, she died when I was born.
- Maj. Demming: Now then - your father. Living?
- Will Stockdale: Yes, sir.
- Maj. Demming: Do you get along with him okay?
- Will Stockdale: Yes, sir.
- Maj. Demming: Does he ever beat you?
- Will Stockdale: [laughs] You bet!
- Maj. Demming: Hard?
- Will Stockdale: And how! Boy, there ain't nobody can beat like my Pa can.
- Maj. Demming: So this is where the antagonism comes from.
- [chuckles]
- Maj. Demming: You, uh, you hate your father don't you?
- Will Stockdale: No. Hey, I got a uncle I hate though. Ever time he comes out to the house, he's always wantin' to rassle with the mule. And the mule gets all wore out... and he gets all wore out. Well, I, I don't really hate him, though; it's just that I ain't exactly partial to him.
- Maj. Demming: Did I ask you about your uncle?
- Will Stockdale: I thought you wanted to talk about hatin' people.
- Maj. Demming: I think that I would rather live in the rottenest pigsty in Tennessee or Alabama than the fanciest mansion in all of Georgia. How about that?
- Will Stockdale: Well, sir... I think where you wanna live is your business.
- Will Stockdale: Do you hate your Mama? I - I figured as how you said it was so common.
- Maj. Demming: I do not hate my mother.
- Will Stockdale: I should hope not. Does she beat you or somethin'?
- Maj. Demming: Now then. Girls. How do you like - girls?
- Will Stockdale: What girls is that, sir?
- Maj. Demming: Well, just - just - just girls. Just - any girls.
- Will Stockdale: Well, I don't like just *any* girls. I mean, there's this one ol' girl back home that ain't got hair no longer than a hound dog's and she...
- Maj. Demming: Oh, no. When I say "girls" - I don't mean any specific girl. I just mean, well, girls in general, you know? Women.
- Maj. Demming: Now, there are a few more topics that we have to cover. And we will not talk about transfers and we will not talk about my mother. We will talk about what I want to talk about.
- [stomps the floor]
- Maj. Demming: Sex. Didn't that father of yours ever sit you down and have a talk with you?
- Will Stockdale: Well, sure he did.
- Maj. Demming: Well?
- Will Stockdale: Well, what?
- Maj. Demming: Well, what did he say?
- Will Stockdale: [chuckles, scoots closer to Maj. Demming] Well, there's this one about these two travelin' salesmen. And their car breaks down in the middle of this terrible storm.
- Maj. Demming: Stop.
- Will Stockdale: They come runnin' up to this farmhouse where this farmer's got these 14 daughters.
- Maj. Demming: Stop!
- Will Stockdale: Did you heared it already?
- Maj. Demming: I did not heared it already.
- Will Stockdale: What'd you stop me for? It's a real knee-slapper. See, these 14 daughters was all studyin' to become trombone players...
