Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host • Alfred the Stand-In • Alfred's Brother • Man on the Book Cover
- [Hitchcock arrives for his introduction dressed in a safari outfit and pith helmet]
- Alfred Hitchcock - Host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to darkest Hollywood. Night brings a stillness to the jungle. It is so quiet, you can hear a name drop. The savage beasts have already begun gathering at the water holes to quench their thirst. Now one should be especially alert. The vicious table-hopper is on the prowl, and the spotted back-biter may lurk behind a potted palm. To take me through this most savage of lands, I have hired a native guide.
- [He snaps his fingers. An old man joins him, wearing a billboard sign that reads, "Maps of the Movie Stars' Homes - For Sale"]
- Alfred Hitchcock - Host: He claims to know where I can find the big ones.
- Alfred Hitchcock - Host: [introducing commercials at the end of the show] I hope you have enjoyed our program. Seeing a murder on television can help to work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, these commercials will give you some.
- Alfred Hitchcock - Host: [signing off] I hope you'll join us again next week, when we will present you with another story of gripping, spine-tingling suspense, and three boring commercials to take the edge off of it.
